


Pain and pleasure

by TheIceQueen



Series: Tired of fighting [22]
Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Play, Anal Plug, Angst, BDSM, Bathing/Washing, Blindfolds, Bondage, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Butt Plugs, Caretaking, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Crying, Crying Daryl Dixon, Crying Paul Rovia, Cuddling & Snuggling, Cute, Daryl Dixon Needs a Hug, Desperation, Dildos, Dom Daryl Dixon, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Play, Domdrop, Doubt, Electricity, Electro play, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Eventual Fluff, Exhaustion, Explicit Sexual Content, Fainting, Fear, Figging, Flogging, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forehead Kisses, Forehead Touching, Fucking Machines, Hand Jobs, Hugs, Impact Play, Jesus (Walking Dead) Needs a Hug, Kissing, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, Loss of Control, M/M, Machines, Men Crying, Milking, Neck Kissing, Orgasm Control, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Pain, Painplay, Panic, Porn, Pre-Panic!, Prostate Milking, Protective Jesus (Walking Dead), Protectiveness, Rope Bondage, Roughness, Safeword Use, Safewords, Self-Doubt, Sex Toys, Spanking, Sub Jesus, Subdrop, Subspace, Surprise Kissing, Sweet, Sweet/Hot, Trust, Trust Issues, Trust Kink, Unconsciousness, Vibrators, ruined orgasm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-06-24 20:19:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19731061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIceQueen/pseuds/TheIceQueen
Summary: -- Timeline: A year and eight months in to their relationship. --Paul has time of work and Daryl has made sure that they have the house for themselves for a whole week. He has wanted to explore the playroom in the basement closer for a long time, so he suggests that they take turns being in charge.This is not for the faint-hearted, but everything is consensual. They would never cross that line.or:Five days in the basement and one in the bedroom.(All of these stories are connected but most of them can easily be read without the rest of the series. This is one of them; it's mainly smut and kink. Enjoy!)





	1. The student becomes the master

“So, that’s why you’ve been cleaning your old trailer for the last week.” Paul put the dirty dishes from breakfast in the sink and turned to Daryl.

“Marcy asked if she could borrow it. She got a friend coming to visit, and I suggested that they’d go camping.”

Paul placed his hands firmly on Daryl’s hips and pulled him close. “And how long have you two planned for us to be alone?”

Daryl had something planned, Paul could read him as an open book, but he still blushed so easily when the conversation turned to what he wanted. Paul smiled and placed a small peck on Daryl’s lips.

“We have a week. First half of your vacation.”

Daryl looked down but Paul just waited for him to get over the awkward stage. It was a mystery to Paul how that still was a thing after all they’d done, after all they’d been through, but Paul was sure he would miss it if someday Daryl’s hands didn’t shake a little when he brought up something new.

Daryl bit his lower lip and looked up with a smile that told Paul that he’d read the situation just right. “When we’re in the basement, we always have to make sure that we’re ready to face Marcy later or the next day. Well, Hot-Stuff, she’s not here this whole week. You bought a lot of things we haven’t even looked at yet. I want to spend the whole week down there. It thought we could take turns, I'll go first.”

Paul’s leg shook and if it hadn’t been for the strong hands on his ribs, he could have dropped to the floor, before he’d gotten them back under control. The glimpse of mischief in Daryl’s eyes had his heart beating so he could hear it himself.

“Wh…” Paul cleared his throat and tried to sound like he wasn’t mentally going through all the toys and objects in the basement. “When do we start?”

Daryl’s smile widened. With both hands he cupped Paul’s face and kissed him slowly and deeply on his mouth. Just as Paul’s legs were starting to go numb, Daryl let go completely and stepped back quickly, leaving Paul slightly panting.

“Go shower. I’ll be waiting.”

Daryl turned and walked calmly out of the kitchen and turned towards the stairs leading to the basement. Paul had thought that having two weeks off, would give room for little bit of everything and that the first couple of days would be spend just hanging lacing fingers by the bonfire or maybe spending all day in bed. Now everything was erased. Everything but the feeling of his heart pounding and his cock already making his pants a little tighter.

* * *

Daryl was standing by the light gray chair with the elevated leg-rests. They have had all of this stuff for over a year and a half, and Paul could count on one hand how many time they’d used that chair. Most of the time Daryl shied away from that part of the room; it was too close to the sixth wall-section with all the stuff for medical play that they had never touched. He wasn’t scared of it when he was in charge, but mostly he’d just naturally chosen to do something else.

“Dee?”

“Just get over here, will you?”

Paul smiled at the confidence Daryl was showing. It was like he always made a one-eighty when he entered the playroom as the one in charge. Paul made his way across the cold tiles in his bare feet. He’d only bothered with pants after the shower. He knew he was going to lose the clothes soon anyway.

Daryl looked satisfied up and down Paul’s body. Controlled and slowly he stepped close to the half-naked man and took a firm hold on the air on the back of his head. He pulled him in close and Paul felt the warm breath flow over the skin on his neck. The contact of wet lips under Paul’s ear had him shudder and grab on to Daryl’s elbow not to lose balance.

Daryl tightened the grip on Paul’s hair and spoke quietly with his deep raw voice, that which always had Paul’s heard skip a beat. “Get undressed and sit up.”

Daryl let Paul stand on his own while he turned his back to grab something Paul didn’t see.

The plastic surface on the padding was cold against Paul’s ass and sent goosebumps up his spine. Daryl, who clearly had seen Paul shiver smiled and placed a palm on the middle of his chest. He gave Paul a short wink and then he pushed him down against the half-raised backrest of the chair. Paul wasn’t sure if it was the cold or that he saw the ropes in Daryl’s hands that made his lungs gasp in air.

Daryl reached in and placed his free hand on Paul’s hip, waiting for him to look him in the eyes. Paul knew what this was. They always had that break, they always made sure they both knew when they were starting.

“Rovia.” Daryl smiled at Paul as he took a deep breath and looked far into the blue eyes demanding his attention. “Explain the safewords to me.”

There was so many things Paul wanted to say, mainly dirty jokes about all of this, but they did this right every time.

“Green is; I’m good. Yellow is; slow down, wait. Red means, stop everything.”

“Good.” Daryl lifted his other hand and rested it and the black ropes on Paul’s thigh, so he could just barely see them. “You ready?”

Paul’s hand found Daryl’s on his hip and laced their fingers. He nodded and Daryl lifted his hand and kissed it slowly before letting it drop to Paul’s stomach.

“Safewords are in play. I will ask for your color, but you should always tell me if it changes.”

Paul let his head rest on the backrest. Daryl was so secure about what he was doing, it was hard to even remember a time where Paul was teaching him that exact line. Paul felt his body warm up the chair as Daryl’s steady hands lifted his legs to the leg-rests and pulled him down before starting on the ropes.

The anticipation was half of the pleasure, he knew that, he’d been there before, but he was already half hard and Daryl was taking way too long.

“Dee…”

He knew the second the word passed his lips that it wasn’t going to help. The eyes Daryl sent him was enough to silence him completely, and the rope running over his thighs every time Daryl wrapped it around his ankle, ran a little slower. Paul locked his eyes to the ceiling, doing his best to calm himself. Is would only make Daryl go even slower if he complained again. He couldn’t deal with a slower pace.

When Daryl had finally finished the other leg, Paul had calmed himself down enough that he felt safe looking down at himself again.

The rings of shiny black rope around his ankles and shins were beautifully aligned and showed no skin between them. Both legs were fastened to the rest, once below and once over the knee, and the long rope was spun tightly around his upper thighs and the metal rod holding the leg-rest.

Paul pulled his right leg a bit to test the work and felt a heatwave spread though his body as he realized that he was helplessly stuck and he would have no luck reaching the ends of the ropes that Daryl had fastened under the chair.

Daryl was silently gathering more things at the fifth wall-section. They had everything at that one. All the stuff that didn’t fall into a big category. Paul had no idea what he would come back with. The box of gathered things, Daryl placed on the table by Paul’s legs, didn’t give him any clues, but another rope in Daryl’s hand caught his eyes.

Daryl calmly took Paul’s hand and gestured for the other.

“Dee. What?”

“Don’t speak.” Daryl held out his hand and waited till Paul to placed his free hand in it. “I’m not gagging you. I want to hear you, but no words except colors.”

Paul took a deep breath and locked his jaw as he observed Daryl’s capable hands tying his wrist together and then pulling them slowly over Paul’s head. As soon at his hands were fastened securely at the top of the backrest, Paul got a hold of two of Daryl’s fingers. Daryl wrapped both hands around Paul’s and looked him in the eyes. Only a second were spend looking at each other upside down, before Daryl smiled, nodded and slowly let his hands slide of Paul’s and stepped back. It was all Paul needed; to let Daryl know that he was good, that he trusted him completely. He knew that, but the confirmation was important in this room, for both of them.

The familiar sound of lube being pressed out of a bottle filled the room. Daryl stood between Paul’s legs and quickly smeared the cold substance over Paul’s ass. Paul yelped and would have jolted against the ropes. Daryl was not wasting time anymore; he was already rubbing Paul’s ring with a finger before Paul had relaxed his bum down into the sparse padding.

For only two seconds nothing was touching Paul and he hardly had time to look before Daryl was rubbing shiny green dildo against his ring. Biting his tongue before he spoke against it, Paul wrapped his fingers around the rope they were tied to. It took willpower Paul didn’t know he had to convince himself that it was small enough that prep wasn’t necessary. That it was thin enough, not more than two fingers, maybe two and a half. He was sure that Daryl knew what he was doing, but this play was going to hurt and way sooner than he’d expected.

The dildo pressed at his ring and he locked eyes with Daryl. He was watching him closely. The pressure got more persistent and as his muscle started burning just a little he knocked his head back and took a deep breath. It shocked him as it broke through and he gasped loudly and pulled on the ropes over his head.

Not being giving any time to calm down, Paul whined in surprise and an unexpected amount of pleasure as the dildo moved deeper. Paul turned his head to the side and rested it on his bicep as his body tried to catch up with what was happening. He normally had prep and foreplay and lots and lots of time for anticipation to build up. Often he ended up begging Daryl to begin, but not today. Today Daryl was moving forward as fast as he possibly could.

“Color?”

Paul looked Daryl in the eyes. Daryl wasn’t concerned, he was just making sure Paul remembered that is was a play.

“Green.”

The smooth and slim dildo slid in and out in a steady pace and soon Paul was able to relax around it, and his fast breathing was only because of the pleasure slowly building.

Just like that he was empty. “N…” He stopped himself and only got a firm look from Daryl. The dildo in his hand was skin colored and shaped as a real dick. Daryl was hastily spreading lube over it. It was only slightly smaller than Daryl’s cock and Paul needed way more prep for that.

Paul closed his eyes and tried his best to relax at the tip of the dildo brushed over his ring. This wasn’t dangerous. It might hurt, but it was safe. Paul reminded himself who was in charge. Pain was only okay, only good, when Daryl was in control.

The burning wasn’t as bad as he’d feared but the pressure was almost violent and when it broke through and popped inside Paul whined loudly and arched his back and neck. Just as before Paul didn’t have time to calm down before it moved. The first few thrusts were shallow and quick but soon Daryl pushed in a bit deeper and Paul’s gasping turned in to small moans as the massaged gland inside him sent waves of chills and heat through his entire body.

Daryl paused and held the dildo still just inside. After a few gasps to catch up, Paul felt the nervousness take over and he looked up at Daryl. Daryl smiled with a glimpse of power in his eyes that had Paul’s rock hard cock twitch. Still keeping eye-contact, Daryl tortuously slowly pushed the plastic cock in deeper. Paul inhaled deeply and again as it passed the deepest point yet. Daryl slowed down but kept pushing. The pressure deep inside was too much, it hurt. Desperately, he pulled the ropes on his hands, but he wasn’t moving from the intrusion.

The sudden added pain had Paul’s whole body shaking and he screamed out loudly, ending in a desperate panting as the pain didn’t subside. Daryl stood still and held on.

Paul breathed fast and shallow, hanging on for dear life to the fact that Daryl would end this the second it became too much. His body was tingling and his cock were vibrating between his legs. Pain was a weird thing. He never understood how it could be good, but it could be. Horrible, but good.

“Color?”

Paul had no air to answer and hand to just nod his head and gasp for the extra air he’d used on the effort. The dildo backed out just enough that he could fill his lungs almost all the way.

“Color?”

“Green.” Paul gasped for more air.

“You sure?”

Paul looked Daryl deep in the eyes and nodded.

Daryl sent him a smile and let go of the dildo. Paul’s entire body relaxed as the toy slowly moved down and settle in a comfortable place.

Even slightly panting, Paul was on high alert and his eyes followed Daryl as he walked to the side of the chair.

He leaned in slowly and placed a warm and deep kiss on Paul’s lips. Forgetting everything about the dildo still resting inside him, Paul fell deep into the calmer pace and let the calm breathing from his captor. He didn’t notice that Daryl’s hand was at the side of the chair before the back rest lowered and both of them followed it down till Paul was lying flat on his back.

“Babe?”

Daryl straightened his back and smiled down at Paul.

“No talking, remember?”

Paul nodded and nervously let his eyes follow his arms up till the ropes on the wrists, and then down again. With the way he was stretched out there were no way he would be able to see what was going to happen between his legs.

Daryl let his fingertips brush over Paul’s side as he moved back down to take his place between Paul’s knees. Paul gasped and closed his eyes. He might as well try to calm down a bit, he couldn’t see anyway.

The dildo left with a swoop Paul wasn’t prepared for, and he let out a high-pitched gasp. He wasn’t prepared for the cold lube dripping on his ass immediately after either, or the new hard thing of Daryl’s choice pressing at his ring.

He willed himself to breathe deep. He knew it would be good, but he knew it would be hard to handle pain like before again. The violent pressure had Paul’s whole body shaking. He didn’t think his thighs could shake like that while tied up, but he was proved wrong.

“C’mon, Hot-Stuff. Take it in.”

Paul shook his head.

Daryl lessened the pressure a bit and then pushed again. “Breathe. I know you can do this.”

Once again Daryl almost let go, but then the pressure was back with full force. Paul arched his head back to get enough air and used the sliver of control he had to convince his body to relax just a little.

Paul screamed out loudly and his head knocked back into the padding. If his legs were free he might have kicked something, but it only ended in desperate jolts that shook the whole chair. Daryl waited and let Paul’s head slow it’s movements from one side to the other. Paul took the time he was given to calm his breathing and tell his legs to stop shaking and relax in the rests they were bound to.

Paul slowly but surely got back to just being normally winded from his body working overtime to keep his dick hard and himself conscious at the same time. The waves of electricity from the stretching of his ass were already moving up his spine and stomach without the toy moving. Paul didn’t open his eyes; it wouldn’t do any good anyway. Even if he could get Daryl in his line of sight, he knew that his eyes would only show him white blurs. He took a deep breath more, preparing for what might come.

Paul’s hands turned numb and all his attention was directed to his throbbing cock. If Daryl were to move soon, he would throw him over the edge in seconds. But Daryl wasn’t moving, and Paul didn’t feel him. Paul tried to move his hips and ass to prompt some movement but there was nothing. He tried to open his eyes and lift his head, but he wasn’t strong enough and he only saw gray clouds. With nothing to say in the matter, Paul’s heart raced and his lungs wouldn’t fill all the way.

Should he Safeword? Maybe just yellow? Paul could hear his blood pumping passed his inner ear. Why was he suddenly scared? It didn’t make sense. Daryl would be there. He would hear his safeword. But how far from his was he. Could he see that he was struggling? That he wasn’t breathing right? Did Daryl know that he couldn’t see him?

Paul tried to speak, but ended up with a cough instead. His lungs were starting to burn.

“Color?”

In an instant Paul took a deep calm breath. Daryl was right where he’d been all the time. Slowly letting out the large exhale Paul’s head rested heavily on his arm.

“Paul. Color?”

“Gree… Green.”

A hand moved down the front of his thigh and ended on the middle of his stomach.

“Paul?”

Paul slowly blinked his eyes open and still not seeing right he lifted his head and smiled at the white shadow between his legs. “I’m sure.”

“Okay, Hot-Stuff. Brace yourself.”

It wasn’t deep, but the movements were fast and Paul’s lungs couldn’t follow the pace. The room spun and Paul closed his eyes, focusing on keeping his mouth open so his lungs could do what they needed to. His hands were the first to disappear and then his feet. Within seconds his whole world was his lungs and heart trying to keep up with he pounding in his sore burning ass, and the whimpering moans he had to keep reminding himself was his own voice.

The cold lube spread cruelly over his cock hit him as a kick in the balls. However, his scream quickly turned to deeper moans, as the lube was heated by the fast and firm strokes.

Out of breath he coughed violently as his ass quickly stretched and the dildo disappeared. Only a second of despair that he might had to calm down again passed before two fingers quickly moved in and touched down on his sensitive prostate. Not able to scream Paul gasped in air and let go of trying to control anything. His prostate sent painful jolts up his back and out his legs, but oh so delicious waves of tingling heat through the rest of his body and resonating in his cock and balls. Soon it was only his center that was left in his mind. His lungs closed and his body fought the ropes and the chair in a huge shaking wave of tense muscles that couldn’t agree of where and how to move.

* * *

“Poppet?”

Paul turned his head slowly towards the voice and blinked a little sliver open between his eyelids. Everything spun around him and he quickly closed off for the bright blurry colors.

“Don’t. Just relax.”

Daryl squeezed the hand he was holding and Paul felt a light finger remove a strand of hair from his forehead.

“Dee? What…?”

“Shh, Poppet. You passed out after you came. Everything is good now.”

Paul tried to lift his head, but when he couldn’t he tried moving his legs and found that, even though it felt like he was wearing waders filled with water, he could move.

“Lie still.” Daryl’s free hand rested heavily on Paul’s upper right chest. “I’ve untied you. The play is over, but lie still a bit longer, okay?”

Paul nodded and let his head slowly fall relaxed to the side. Daryl’s thumbs were caressing the back of his hand and his collarbone. He could hear his calm breathing and Paul’s slowly aligned with it.

Even though, Paul could feel the soft fabric from a blanket over him, it didn’t take long before the first quiver shook Paul’s shoulders.

“Okay, Hot-Stuff. You’re getting cold quick. Let’s move.”

Paul hummed disapprovingly and turned his head away from Daryl. He wasn’t ready. His legs were still not at normal weight and his head wasn’t ready to let go of it’s level of numb serenity. Two hands cradling his face turned his head back.

“Open your eyes now.”

Paul hummed again, almost sounding like an upset child, but he slowly opened his eyes and looked up at two blue safe eyes. Paul smiled and lifted his arms up and wrapped them around Daryl’s neck. Daryl pulled him up to sit and held on tighter as Paul hissed from the shot of pain from his behind.

“You’re a mess.” Daryl chuckled and Paul followed Daryl’s eyes down. He _was_ a mess.

Daryl took his arm and slowly pulled him to his feet. For a second Paul thought he might puke, but the dizziness faded quickly. Daryl held Paul’s shoulder and chin till the room stopped spinning and it was only the floor swaying.

“You okay there, Poppet?”

“Yeah.”

Paul turned towards the pamper room, he was already looking forward to collapsing in the pillows, but Daryl pulled him the other way; towards the elevator.

“Dee, what are you doing?” Paul blinked slowly to focus on his boyfriend.

Daryl pulled Paul’s arm over his shoulders and wrapped an arm behind his back. “You were out for quite some time. You’re all sticky. I’m not sure you will like me cleaning you with a cloth. You need a bath.”

“No… Dee, let’s wait.”

A bath sounded like heaven, but there was so much longer up there and they would have to fill it, find towels and then there was all the stuff with getting out in the cold and the hassle of drying after. It was too much work.

“No. You’re getting too cold. Just hang on.”

Daryl pulled Paul with him. There was nothing to do but follow, he hadn’t even strength enough to walk on his own.

The elevator ride felt more like fifteen stories and not the two they were going and getting moving again after was torture to every muscle from his waist down. Paul stopped a few steps into the master bedroom. The bed and the duvets looked so warm and comfortable.

“Dee. Just let me sleep first.” Paul was sure Daryl heard the crack in his voice. Paul didn’t normally cry of exhaustion, but this _was_ the first time he’d actually passed out. Daryl had been close a few times, but this was a new for them both.

Daryl held on a little tighter and started walking again. “After. I promise, I’ll do everything. You just hang on.”

Paul held on. He held on to Daryl’s shirt so it might break over his shoulder as they walked into the bathroom and he held on even tighter as Daryl leaned in to turn on the water.

Daryl kicked off his shoes and stepped into the tub. He held Paul in a hug and pulled him in. Paul wasn’t sure if it was Daryl’s strength pulling him, or if he lifted his legs himself.

“Dee! Shit!”

Paul lifted his arms over Daryl’s shoulders and hung himself around his neck, unsuccessfully trying to lift his feet and lower legs out of the water. Daryl held him tight, steadying him.

“Easy now. It’s not that warm. Look, I’m in here too.”

Paul looked down Daryl’s shirt, down his jeans already sucking water towards the knees, and down to his bare feet under the water. Paul took a deep breath and slowly his feet stopped burning.

“Babe. Your clothes.”

Daryl shook his head. “I know better than to let go of you after a play. Besides, I guess you needed this bath more than I thought. You cooled down fast today.”

Paul nodded his head and rested it on Daryl’s chest. If Daryl would just hold him this tight a minute more, he could fall asleep standing right there in his embrace. Daryl didn’t. He turned Paul around and hugged him from behind. Paul grabbed on to Daryl’s arms over his chest.

“Slowly now.” Daryl slid his back down the wall and the two of them slowly dropped towards the water.

Paul’s legs slid forward and all his weight was in Daryl’s arms. Paul held on tighter, but Daryl seemed to have seen it coming. The water burned his calves, his knees and thighs. When Paul’s ass touched down onto the surface he whimpered and tensed up, boring his fingers into Daryl’s arms.

“It’s okay, Poppet. It will feel good really soon.”

They sat down all the way and Paul quickly turned halfway to the side. His ass hurt but he also felt better the more of Daryl he could see. Daryl pushed him down so Paul was resting with his shoulder and half his face against Daryl’s chest and so the water was covering his shoulders.

“Dee…” The crack in Paul’s voice had Daryl hold on a little tighter. “It’s too hot.”

“It’s not. Just let it warm you. Try to relax.”

Paul wrapped his fingers tight around the soaked shirt covering Daryl’s chest. A small gasp of air escaped his lungs and he felt a tear rolling over his face. Daryl rubbed Paul’s back slowly under the water, making it burn a little more, but Paul wouldn’t change the connection for anything.

“Shh, Poppet. I’m right here. I’m staying right here.”

Paul loosened the grip on the shirt a little and took a breath, but still ended up with a gasp and a small whimper. There was nothing he could do as the second and third tear made their way over his cheek.

Daryl’s chest vibrated under his ear. He was humming. Daryl never hummed unless it was the only way he could let Paul know he was there. Paul closed his eyes and felt the almost unnoticeable vibration fill his head neck and whole body. Not long after his skin stopped burning in the warm water and he slowly relaxed his muscles.

For the life of him he couldn’t figure out which song Daryl was humming but it didn’t really matter; it was the best song in the world. It made the pain go away. It let the water protect him instead of burning. It told him that the arms around him was Daryl’s and that he would still be holding him above water as he slept.


	2. Flying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paul tries out new ideas with Daryl in the play-room. Daryl is pushed to the limit.

Paul was walking slower than normal this morning. He’d slept like a rock all night. After spending 45 minutes sleeping in the bath last night while Daryl had let the cooled down water out while filling it with hot, three times, they dried themselves and went to bed. They had been laughing and joking when Daryl couldn’t get out of his soaked jeans, but Daryl could see that Paul was already thinking about his plan for the next day, which made it hard for Daryl to fall asleep. He was excited and couldn’t stop smiling, but it was nerves that kept him up longer.

At breakfast Paul had made a huge omelet for each of them, and demanded that Daryl should eat up; that he would need the energy. Paul had sighed deeply as he stood up and Daryl couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty about working him so hard, but the look in Paul’s eyes told him that he was in for a workout himself.

After they’d cleaned up Paul put on his shoes and grabbed a backpack.

Daryl followed him confused to the hallway. “Rovia, where are you going?”

“We need groceries. Marcy isn’t here remember?”

“Hold up, I’ll come.”

Daryl looked over the floor for his shoes, but Daryl grabbed his shoulders and looked him straight in the eyes.

“No. You go get cleaned and wait for me in the basement. I’ll be back in an hour.”

Daryl’s lungs locked and he only nodded. Paul placed a quick kiss on Daryl’s forehead and then he was out the door. It took a few seconds for Daryl to catch up with what he was supposed to do. He ran up the stairs and decided that if he had to wait an hour he’d better make it a cold shower.

* * *

Paul hadn’t prepared the room, so Daryl was instructed to undress and wait facing the corner, while Paul got everything ready. He could hear Paul talking to himself as if he was going over a list, but it never became clear enough that Daryl could understand any words. His imagination was talking over, going over everything on the walls and in the drawers, it sounded like Paul was all over the room.

Daryl’s pulse was rising and he had to move his feet a little to make sure some of the blood made it down there and not only to his head, heavy arms and slowly hardening cock.

Every cell was prepared that Paul would touch him soon and no matter how gentle the touch would be, or how prepared Daryl was he would surely end up jumping. Daryl wasn’t nervous about what might happen as a surprise; he knew Paul wouldn’t use anything but his hands on Daryl before they had started the play.

“Okay, Dee. Stand front against the cross.”

Daryl had never been on that. He looked back in surprise, but Paul was right there holding his shoulders so he couldn’t turn.

“I know not to tie you up. Relax.”

A big breath filled Daryl’s longs and surprised and a bit embarrassed that he’d doubted Paul, he walked to the big wooden X.

“Grab on to the top.”

Daryl looked down at the wooden box Paul had placed in front of the cross. He stepped up and was able to comfortably reach the top without pressing himself against the center of the cross. Reaching up he laid eyes on the leather cuffs hanging from the top, and shook his head at the brief thought that they could grab his wrists. He got a good grip on the top of the two solid boards and curiously looked back over his shoulder. He couldn’t see far and guessed that’s why Paul hadn’t stopped him.

“Are you okay there? Feel secure?” Paul’s hands shook his hips a little as if he was testing the surface Daryl was standing on.

“Yes. It seems solid.”

“Great. Tell me the safewords.”

Daryl looked forward, between his raised arms and accepted that his view was a dark gray corner with no decorations but a modern rendition of a farmhouse wall-lamp.

“Green means; I’m good. Yellow is; wait, slow down and red means, stop everything and get me of this damn box.”

“Hey. This is serious.” The amusement was clear in Paul’s voice, even though Daryl knew that he meant every word.

“Sorry.”

“Safewords are in play. I will ask for your color, but you should always tell me if it changes.” A hand touched Daryl’s lower back and made him listen closer. “Also, remember you’re not tied to this thing, so you can’t lose your legs.”

Daryl nodded and wrapped his fingers tighter on the boards to test them and positioned his feet once more.

Paul’s hands were on his shoulder blades and slowly moved down. Daryl was ready and had been since last night, and his cock was already pulsating in anticipation. Paul’s hands slowly, too slowly, brushed lightly over Daryl’s bum, before they grabbed on hard and made him jump.

“Shit!”

“Wasn’t prepared for that, huh?”

“No. Probably should have been.” Daryl’s voice was shaking from the sudden outburst of air and from Paul’s hands still boring fingers into his buttocks.

Daryl felt Paul’s breath on his neck. “I want you to speak today. To tell me how it feels.”

“O-okay.” Daryl wondered what wicked plans Paul had to make him speechless today. He shook the thought from his mind. He knew all too well that he would only end up driving himself crazy by trying to see what was coming.

Paul graced on finger over Daryl’s hole and then let him go completely. Daryl gasped as something passed his head closely and was hung over his shoulder. He looked at the many leather straps and felt the handle on his shoulder blade. They had used the flogger before and Daryl loved it. The burn it left over a wide surface as he could close his eyes and let all the nerves in his body raise from it. If Paul went on long enough he could come from just that on his front thighs and stomach. But they had never tried it standing and Daryl wasn’t sure he could control his legs under its mercy.

“Dee.” Paul’s hands were placed firmly on Daryl’s hips and he could feel Paul’s pants brush against his ass. “I’m putting on a glove, it’s nothing else from that wall.”

Daryl felt his shoulders tensing just thinking about doing anything that could reminding him of doctors or hospitals. Not removing contact from Daryl’s skin, Paul slid one hand to Daryl’s shoulder.

“It’s worth it, I promise and I’ll take it off in one minute.”

Daryl closed his eyes and breathed in through his nose as he nodded. Paul kissed him between his shoulderblades and he was at the small table he’d gathered the things on, the one Daryl hadn’t been allowed to see.

“It’s only one glove, Hon. This is the hand without.” Paul waited for Daryl to nod before sliding two lubed fingers into his crack. Daryl cleansed in surprise but quickly relaxed and let Paul continuing to massage the lube over his entrance.

One finger pushed in and in silent appreciation Daryl breathed in a calm breath. The second finger pressed in right away and had him almost cough out the air from before. The slight burn warmed his back and as the fingers moved in slowly he stilled in keenness for Paul to touch that spot that would have his knees shake.

Without fulfilling the wish the fingers moved out as the hand settled on his right cheek holding it so Paul still had a view over the muscle already contracting.

“I’ll barely touch you with the glove. It’s not going inside. Let this in easy and it will be over in a second.”

Daryl’s knees were shaking and he grabbed on tighter to take some pressure off them. He locked eyes at the lamp and tried to not think about the glove touching him. As soon as there was something pressuring at his hole he did his best to relax and let it in fast. The thing wasn’t big. It was weird, not smooth but it wasn’t uncomfortable either. The small plug slid in fast and with no problems.

“Hold it and I’ll throw the glove away.”

Daryl squeezed and as he felt the thing heating up Paul’s hands disappeared.

“Okay, all gone. So how do you like it?”

“It’s warm.” Daryl wasn’t sure if it was the heat, the nerves or something else but there was definitely something tingling too and it got more persistent.

The flogger was pulled of his shoulder. Daryl had completely forgotten it was there.

“Color?”

“Green.”

The first slap of leather against his skin burned over his ass. Daryl gasped loudly. The clench his ass did around the plug had it burning hotter and Daryl’s knuckles turned white preparing for the next one.

“It might be better with two.”

Daryl hoped to God that it was a second flogger and not another of whatever was in him. A wave of burning spread from the back of his thighs and the constant hits of leather traveled over his ass, making him press more agony from inside, and up to his shoulders. Paul was a magician with those. It felt nothing like other types of impact play. It wasn’t one hit here and there; it was one continuous sizzling of his skin.

“Tell me how it feels.”

Daryl opened his mouth but nothing but bursts of air came out. He had no idea how he should explain anyway.

The endless shaking under the pressure from one hit after the other didn’t stop or slow down and Daryl couldn’t figure out how the only pain he felt was in his ass. His legs were shaking but he had a firm grip on the cross so he felt secure.

“Color.”

“Gr…” Daryl focused on the light-bulb showing half under the lampshade. He clenched his jaw and focused every cell in his body, except the ones burning in his ass, on controlling his lungs. “Green.”

Paul changed to only hit his ass now. Daryl could swear it was harder to. He clenched harder and screamed loudly as he arched his back and neck and watched his hands shaking on the wood. As if his lungs had figured out autopilot again, Daryl suddenly screamed and moaned from every time he couldn’t help but clench and turn up the devilish burning inside. His skin was tingling and pleasurably his cock was too, pounding and pushing against the wood but the skin tingling was more prominent. Maybe because it stood in such contrast to his insides.

At first Daryl didn’t notice the beating had stopped, but when Paul’s breath was on his neck it send shivers down his abused and sensitive skin.

“It burns!” Daryl tried to turn his head to look at Paul but gave up when he felt his fingers slip. The yell was quickly replaced with a pitiful plead. “Rovia... What is it? It burns so bad.”

“Ginger root. It's safe. Color?”

“Gr-green.”

Daryl’s sight was getting hazy at the edges but he’d gotten a good hold on the cross again and even though his knees were shaking, he could feel his feet steady on the box. He was safe. The blood rushing through him and settling heavily in his pounding cock, wasn’t going to let him stop unless he wasn’t safe. It felt like white glowing metal was moving around inside his ass and making it’s way to his stomach, but Paul would never hurt him, so that was safe too.

“Dee?”

“I’m… I’m green. I can… I can stand…” Daryl let his head fall heavily onto his chest and saw his stomach moving with every fast and deep breath. “Please.”

“Okay. I’ll give you five.”

If Daryl had let Paul restrain him he wouldn’t have been concentrating on fighting every urge to let himself fall and pull the thing out, and he might have realized that Daryl would never give him counted beats with the flogger.

The first hit with the paddle over his ass was violent and for a second he lost the grip on one of the boards. Gasping and coughing he regained position and relished in the fact that for a moment his skin on his ass hurt more than the insides. It gave him a rare opportunity to feel what have been sending delicious electricity around his body for so long now.

“Calm yourself and count.”

Paul’s voice was deep and demanding like it only ever got in this room. Daryl would have calmed himself faster if he’d gotten a written note.

“One…” It almost wasn’t audible but he said it.

“It’s getting hard to speak, huh?”

Daryl nodded and tried to fight the shaking his body build as the pain shifted to inside his ass again.

“Count if you can. If it takes to long I’ll call the number.” Five long slow lines burned their way down Daryl’s back and he pressed himself against the cross to get away from Paul’s hand. “Babe. If you get red and can’t speak, shake your head. I’ll make sure to see it.”

“Okay.” Daryl was only whispering but he needed to make sure Paul knew he was holding it together. If not he’d might end it too soon. “I’m green.”

Paul stepped back. “Alright.”

Daryl’s ass flared up inside and out.

“TWO!”

Winded and shaking Daryl let his head hang down again. It snapped up with the next hit. Daryl screamed out and gasped as he tried to steady his arms. He needed to adjust his feet, but only tensing his thigh a little to move his leg, had his insides flare up and he moaned loudly.

Trying to concentrate on the good sensations from his shaking muscles and not the tears rolling over his face, he breathed in and made the most pitiful word yet. “Three…”

The fourth hit shook his right hand from the top of the cross and with his stomach curling in a coughing fit he couldn’t reach. He wrapped his arm around the left board his left hand was still hanging on. Hanging crooked to the side he lost all sensation of pain. His center was warm and his head light, his skin was tingling like under a light breeze all over his body. And as the perfect addition his cock was pounding hard and fast. His lungs were only there for one reason only; to tell Paul that this was good, this was right.

“Green… Rovia.” Daryl wrapped his arm a little tighter around the board. “Fuck, I’m so green.”

“Then what number?”

It wasn’t concern in Paul’s voice, but he was serious and Daryl knew it was a test. It was easy to say green even if he wasn’t in his right mind. But Daryl was, everything was so right.

“Four.”

Daryl was sure he screamed. Almost sure, but he didn’t hear it. He felt the air leave his lungs and his body shaking against the cross. Then something touched his back like a dry towel on a sunburn and he definitely hear the whimper crossing his lips. Arms wrapped around him one reaching down and he gasped loudly, hanging on tighter to the cross and his over sensitive cock was embraced in a strong warm hand.

“Damn, you’re close.”

Daryl didn’t see the need to answer, he wasn’t sure he could anyway, as Paul stroked his cock fast and firm. His knees disappeared and his head arched back and landed on Paul’s shoulder. Daryl’s moan was shaky but deep and lasted his whole orgasm.

The tension in his entire body had squeezed on the torture device in him again and Daryl was reminded that he still was burning up. The small whimpers of complaint reached Paul just fine.

Paul tightened his arms around Daryl’s torso. “Let go, I’ve got you.”

Daryl’s left arm were aching and he wasn’t sure his fingers were all still working, but he didn’t let go.

“Babe. Let go of the cross.”

Daryl let out a whine of disagreement and shook his head the best he could.

“Burns…”

“I know babe, let go and I’ll take it out.”

Daryl trusted Paul, but now after he’d come there was only the pain left and he couldn’t bear that another movement would make that worse. More tears of exhaustion clouded his sight. He shook his head and felt Paul move one of his arms.

“Okay, Hon. Hang on then.”

Daryl held his breath as Paul’s hand moved into his crack. This would hurt too. It would be over and he could let everything go, but this would definitely hurt first.

“Breathe now, relax.”

Daryl couldn’t, he still held his breath and no matter how much he wanted, and he really did, he couldn’t get his mind and body to work together. The thing moved and Daryl cried out, hugging the wood tighter. Paul must have realized that this was as good as it was going to get, because he kept pulling till it was out and Daryl was left with a hazy mind and a vibrating body.

Paul wrapped his arm back around Daryl and removed the new glove quickly before Daryl had time to react.

The thing wasn’t pressing on anything anymore and Daryl was content that it wouldn’t add more fire or knives if he moved, but the pain was still there.

“Let go now. The play is over.”

* * *

Daryl loosened the grip on top of the cross slowly and felt Paul’s arms hold him steady. As he was relaxing his other arm bit by bit, Paul moved around him and stood between him and the cross. Both Daryl’s arms landed heavily around Paul’s neck and for a second they stood still regaining their balance before Paul stepped down of the box.

Daryl tensed as he stepped down. “Wait…” He didn’t care how pitiful he sounded or how desperately he was holding on to Paul.

“C’mon, Hon. Let’s get you lying down.”

Paul’s calm voice was distant but safely present. Daryl followed the embrace he was in and hoped that it wasn’t far, but he couldn’t remember where the cross were or more importantly the pillows. The skin on his backside, from mid thighs to shoulders were warm, his legs were not there and his arms were sore but strong enough to hold on to Paul. His ass still burned and if it hadn’t been for that he was sure he would already be flying.

“Here you go. Slowly, down.”

Daryl trusted that they were in a good place, he didn’t see anything but white shadows. Confirmed in his believe, his knees touched down on softness. Paul’s arms stayed around him till he was all the way down on his front. With a hand still on his shoulder, Daryl felt safe to close his eyes.

“Babe. Are you cold?”

Daryl shook his head as much as the pillow under it would let him. “Burns.”

“Is it still too much?”

A small whimper left Daryl’s throat and a new tear rolled from his eye and joined the older in wetting the pillow. He wasn’t sad, but he needed this to be over now. Over, so he could let go.

“I’ll wash you a bit. Just stay still.” Paul’s hand disappeared and the pillow, he must have been kneeling on, shifted against Daryl’s ribs.

“Paul?”

“I’m right here.”

The pillow shifted and Paul’s hand was placed in Daryl’s. Paul squeezed the hand tightly before letting go and hastily placing it on Daryl’s lower back. Daryl hissed by touch to his red sensitive skin.

“Shh, shh.” Paul lifted a cloth from the cold water and let it stay dripping wet. “This is cold, Tiger. But it will help.”

Paul moved his hand to one butt-cheek and moved it out so Daryl’s burning ring was showing. Daryl cried out and grabbed the pillows with both hands, trying to pull away from the icy feeling on the sensitive spot.

“I know, Honey. Once more and then we’re done.”

The ice hit again, this time less shocking, but still as painful, but as soon as Paul had let go and the shock had left his body, his ass was only hot and tingling. No pain. Daryl emptied his lungs and drew in a big breath.

“Pa-Paul…?”

Daryl turned his head to see of he was walking out the door, but his vision was still too blurry to see.

“Hey.” Two strong but gentle hands lifted his head and turned it back. “I’m here. You know I’m staying… always.”

Daryl smiled and relaxed his neck, so his head rested heavily on the pillow and one of Paul’s hands.

“Hon. Do you need to sleep a bit before you eat?”

The question almost didn’t make it to Daryl before he was already out, but he blinked his eyes open, for what good it did, and smiled.

“I’ma fly.”

“Sure thing. Half an hour, then you need that pink skin rubbed with something.”

Paul moved his hand and grabbed a blanket to cover Daryl’s naked body. Daryl’s one hand made it out from under it, as fast as the fatigued man could manage and Paul took it in both of his.

“I’m lying right next to you. You go.”

Daryl’s head got lighter and his legs too. He forgot everything around him except Paul’s hand that, like a string to a kite, both kept him grounded and was the reason he could fly.


	3. Holding back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On day three the boys are getting tired, but Paul still eagerly awaits what Daryl has prepared for the evening.

Daryl had been exhausted after yesterday morning. They had spend the rest of the day cuddling in bed, only taking a break when Paul got something for them to eat. Paul had been acting tired too, talking less, mostly running his fingers slowly though Daryl’s hair as they laid together. Daryl was happy that they had decided to switch back for the next play. His ass was still sore and his skin on the back of his thighs, ass and back was still extra sensitive.

Daryl knew that it was tiring being the dominant too. They were both slowly wearing out, but he felt that after half a day, a whole night and half of this day in bed they would be good to go this evening. Paul had been sending him looks of anticipation all morning and Daryl relished in the trust that was given.

After a dinner where Paul had been more silent than just quiet from fatigue, Daryl stood up and pulled the hopeful man to his feet. He cupped both of his cheeks in his hands and kissed his lips slowly.

“Ready?”

Paul bit his lower lip as he breathed in through his nose and nodded. The shaking Daryl could feel from Paul was all from excitement and the glimpse in his eyes showed that being dominant the day before hadn’t worn him out completely. Daryl had kept an eye on Paul was okay, it was only the day before yesterday he was in play as submissive. Paul had reassured him that everything was fine, but had let Daryl know that his ass were still sore. Daryl had figured as much and had already planned a day were that wouldn’t be an issue.

“Good. I’ll go get ready.” Daryl brushed the tip of his thumb over Paul’s cheekbone and felt him lean further into the touch. “You come down in half an hour, okay?”

Paul’s hand found Daryl’s on his cheek and moved it so he could kiss it.

“Okay.”

When Daryl turned to walk to the basement, he heard the sound of Paul clearing the dishes with shaking hands.

* * *

Paul was beautiful, lying completely naked on the black padded table. His chest were moving faster for every small touch of hands Daryl landed on his shins, thighs, ribs and arms. Paul hadn’t seen the things Daryl had gathered under the cloth on the table, but he was sure that his lover had noticed that no restraints were near him.

They were in play and Paul had his safewords, but for now he could just push Daryl away, and for Paul to fight that urge was exactly what Daryl wanted.

Daryl brushed a flat palm over Paul’s chest and down. Over his raising stomach and out his cock, feeling it fill with blood already.

“Lay still now.”

Daryl saw the confusion on Paul’s face but he didn’t move. He followed Daryl’s hands on the table intensely with his gaze though. Daryl could hear Paul’s deep breath as he lifted the cloth and revealed the metallic-gray power box.

The wires were cold and Daryl made sure the first one graced over Paul’s ribs as he held it over his chest. He hovered the clamp over Paul’s nipple but then moved it down. They had never used electricity anywhere else than on the nipples. Paul was keeping remarkably quiet as he must be realizing that that was going to change today. Paul’s legs twitched nervously, but Daryl didn’t pause as he placed an adhesive pad on the skin over the base of his hardening cock.

“Dee?”

“Shh.”

Daryl clamped the wire to the metal on the pad and brushed both hands up Paul’s ribs to his chest. Paul’s hand grabbed his forearm and looked into Daryl’s eyes. The confusion was complete with the just the right amount of nervousness. Daryl took a second to take it in before he removed Paul’s hand and placed it down on the table next to him.

“I’m never tied up. Today you aren’t. Let’s see how much self-control you have, Hot-Stuff.”

Daryl turned his back to pick up the second wire and clearly heard Paul trying to calm his breathing. When he turned back around, Paul was eyeballing the ceiling and holding on to the edges of the table. The exact same position Daryl always stayed in when preparing to not move.

This time he went directly to his target and cupped Paul’s dick and balls, lifting them up. Paul’s thighs clamped together and blocked Daryl’s access.

“I’m not tying you up today. If you move, I’ll stop.”

Paul placed his shaky legs flat on the table again and separated his knees a little so Daryl could see what he was doing. Daryl was never afraid that Paul would tie him up if he moved. The only reason he always regained control was that Paul would see it as a Red and stop completely. Paul was experiencing the same fight with between mind and body now and Daryl was loving every second.

Slowly he placed the sticker between Paul’s pouch and ass. The gasp from Paul couldn’t have been from cold; Daryl had had the pad in his hand for too long. He attached the wire and let Paul’s balls drop over it, his cock not dropping an inch.

Daryl took the power box in his hands and turned to Paul. “Since this is the first time you have think about not moving, I won’t ask you to stay quiet. Got it?”

Back in his original position, Paul tore his eyes from the ceiling to look into Daryl’s. He bit his lip and nodded in small rapid movements.

To get the machine ready, Daryl flicked the button on the back that Paul could see. From only the thought of electricity, Paul gasped and tightened his grip on the table. Daryl smiled and held his thumb over the manual button. He turned the level to one and pressed the button quick.

Paul yelped loudly and bend his knees tilting them towards Daryl’s side of the table. Daryl was prepared for a surprised, maybe even shocked reaction, but this was more than he could have hoped for.

“Color?”

Slowly, Paul moved to lie flat down again and took a deep breath. “Green. Fuck, Dee...”

“I know. Now you’re prepared.”

Paul just managed to grab tight to the table again, before Daryl sent another jolt through his groin. He screamed out and tensed up, but stayed put.

“Good job.”

Paul didn’t have time to relish in the praise before he screamed again. This time longer. Daryl watched Paul stiff as a board trying not to move while shaking all over. Daryl let go before he got worried about Paul not taking in air. Paul collapsed back into the padding and let one arm hang over his eyes while panting loudly.

Daryl placed a hand on Paul’s chest. His hear was fast and strong and made Daryl’s beat faster too. He let his hand’s slide down and his Paul jumped as his fingers surrounded his shaft. He held his hand there as he turned the box up to three and pressed the button.

The sound was more of a growl this time. Paul was arching off the table and his thighs were shaking almost as much as his cock in Daryl’s hand. With the tip of his thumb, Daryl circled Paul’s glans making his road to relaxing so much longer. Small whimpers filled the room while Paul was shaking his hips to either get away from the touch or add more friction. Daryl wasn’t sure Paul knew which himself.

With one hand, Daryl places the power box on the table, turns it to two and starts it on a set rhythm. Paul jots up under his hand and yelps. He hasn’t caught his breath completely before the next hit and Daryl squeezes around his shaft to hold him down. Paul gasps wildly and grabs on to Daryl’s arm and Daryl let go of his shaking cock, already leaking pre-cum.

“Color?”

Paul let go of his arm but left his hand shaking an inch away. Another jolt hits and his hand hammers as a fist hoard onto the table.

“Green.”

“Good then lay still.”

Paul nodded but was interrupted by a new hit and yelped out loudly and hammered the table again. Daryl, lightly placed both hands on Paul’s chest. He looked his lover in the eyes. Paul jumped again and squeezed his eyes shut. Daryl quickly leaned in and placed his lips heavily on Paul’s. Paul gasped and retaliated for the whole 30 second break between shocks. He turned his head far to the side and both of his hands landed on Daryl’s shoulders, but were gone before Daryl could open his eyes and lean back from the kiss that was no more.

“Dee… Fuck. It’s… it’s…”

Paul breathed in deep, trying to ready himself for the next. His hands were back on the edges of the table so Daryl didn’t address the slip-up. Taking a step back he looked over the shaking man as he tensed up with another shock. Paul arched his back, moaning loudly. His sounds were slowly turning from pained to pleasured. His back landed hard on the table again.

“No… no. It’s too…” Paul quieted himself as he got his lungs filled with air again.

Daryl flipped the cap on the lube-bottle open and filed his hand. Before the next jolt he covered Paul’s whole firm shaft and brushed gently up over the glans. Paul gasped and lifted his head to see. Daryl wasn’t sure Paul saw clearly, but was proved wrong as he clearly read the expression on Daryl’s face. He wasn’t supposed to move. Paul’s head dropped to the black padding as he let out, what seemed like all of his air.

He pulled it back in fast as the next jolt hit him. Daryl saw every muscle in Paul’s groin contract and felt his lover’s entire body shaking from it.

“God! Shit…!”

There was no room for Paul to catch his breath with Daryl’s hand rubbing him fast between every jolt of electricity. Another hit and Daryl placed his free hand on Paul’s stomach to keep him from turning to his side.

“Don’t move. I’ll stop everything.”

“No… Pl-please. I’m…”

“I see that.”

Daryl knew all the signs that Paul was coming soon. Paul’s toes were curling and stretching without rhythm or pattern and his eyes were glazed over, and his mouth dry. This time there was more though. Paul’s hands were tightening their grip and loosening it hastily, like they couldn’t decide where they should stay put or grab on to something else.

One more hit and Paul growled out a moan, from deep inside. After he’d landed on the table Paul thrusted hard and fast into his hand and Daryl let go of Paul.

“N-no…” Paul hauled in air. “I’m gonna…”

“I know, but not now.”

Paul’s head turned away from Daryl with a small sigh. For a moment Daryl admired the chest raising up and down in a beautiful arch. Fast and uneven, but beautifully muscular and covered in a thin coat of glistening sweat.

The muscles froze and Paul’s entire torso lifted from the table. He moaned louder than ever before and his knuckles turned white holding on to the surface he was on. He dropped heavily, but arched again with a series of moans and gasps, as soon as Daryl started stroking him again.

“Babe… Babe, please.”

Daryl didn’t speak, but reached back to make sure the next jolt would be three.

The cry forcing it’s way from Paul’s throat, might have been a word but Daryl couldn’t hear it. Pre-cum was running over his hand. Paul was close. As soon as Paul breathed in again Daryl let go and Paul let out a pitiful whimper.

“I can’t…” Paul was shaking his head back and forth and his hands had left the table, hovering and shaking inches over the surface. “I need to… please.”

Paul sounded pitiful and the gaze he laid on Daryl was only containing a sliver of hope to have his which granted sooner rather than later.

“Color.”

“I need to come. Dee… please.”

Daryl took Paul’s hand and looked him in the eyes. “Color?”

Paul’s hand was shaking but he managed to hold on tight. “Green.”

Daryl grabbed Paul’s cock firmly seconds before the next bolt of electricity tore through Paul. Paul screamed and for a second Daryl thought that the grip his boyfriend had on his hand could actually break it. Daryl didn’t stop this time; he picked up pace.

“Dee…” Paul panted loudly to get air. “Babe, please…”

The shaking of Paul in Daryl’s hands testified that this was it. His toes were curled all up under his feet and still Paul was placing his free hand on the edge of the table, preparing himself for the next jolt.

Paul thrusted up hard. “Shit!” He gasped and thrusted again. His lungs only had leftover air for desperate exhales shaped as words. “Babe… Dee…”

A second before the next jolt, Daryl switched the machine off and let go off Paul completely. Paul came untouched and whimpering. Daryl grabbed his hands as he tried to touch himself to save just a little of the lost stimulation. Paul swallowed a cry and turned his head to the side. His cock pounded handsomely in the air and let go of three shots before a fourth, smaller burst, made it out too.

“No, Dee…” Paul was hiccuping air into his lungs. “It… why?”

“Not everything has a happy ending. But we can always try again.”

Daryl moved his hand over the sticker on Paul’s pubic bone and out his cock. As he lightly graced over the head, Paul cried out and pulled his hip away to the side.

“No! No more!”

Daryl hadn't planned to continue, he leaned in and kissed Paul’s forehead, tasting the salty sweat transferring to his lips.

“Okay, Hot-Stuff. Play is over.”

Paul nodded let calming his breathing take presence over words.

“You can move, but let me get this off you first, okay?” Daryl put his hand lightly on the pad where the wire was connected over Paul’s now flaccid and very sensitive cock.

“Okay.”

It tore into Daryl, how discouraged Paul sounded, but he knew it would be worth it, for both of them, but mostly for Paul.

Daryl carefully took off the sticker. It wasn’t stuck strongly enough on there to make Paul react and it made Daryl feel better about the next one. Carefully not to make too much movement around Paul’s sensitive glans, he peeled of the sticker with two fingers and moved slowly away.

Paul was laying silently on the table, still slightly panting. He had one arm over his eyes and the other lying on the table above his head. Daryl slid one hand lightly under the arm and cupped Paul’s cheek. Surprisingly, Paul let Daryl lift his arm away with his other hand.

“Poppet…”

Paul turned his eyes down and Daryl saw his lip quivering.

“Poppet. I know we’ve ended, but are you Red?”

Paul breathed in shakily.

“Paul, please look at me.”

It took a few more breaths before Paul looked up and when he did it was with tears in the corners of his eyes. Daryl’s heart skipped a beat. It was far from the most intense play he had done with Paul, but maybe this was a new limit none of them had thought about.

“Paul…” Daryl swallowed to not let his vice crack with the next words. “You know we have to be honest. If you’re not Red, what it happening?”

Paul looked down his side and found Daryl’s hand and took it before reconnecting with his eyes. “I’m… I’m just tired I guess. From last time.”

Daryl studied Paul’s face and didn’t see any signs of deceive. Paul had reacted by crying, mostly from exhaustion, two days ago so he might be hitting another wave of that now.

“Okay. But I still need to know if I broke a limit, also if it’s one even you didn’t know about.”

Paul took Daryl’s shoulder and pulled himself up to sit. “You didn’t.”

He swung his legs over the edge of the table and pulled Daryl down to sit next to him and rested his head on Daryl’s shoulder. Instinctively, Daryl wrapped both arms around Paul’s naked chest and shoulders.

“Do you want to shower or rest first?”

“Rest.”

Daryl nodded and stood up, pulling Paul with him. They made it to the pamper room rather quickly; Daryl wasn’t going to let Paul get cold like last. It was different then, he knew that, but he wasn’t taking any chances. While Paul got situated in the pillows, Daryl hastily got undressed and got a blanket.

* * *

Sitting under the blanket in the corner, with Paul’s naked back pressed against his naked chest, Daryl took the empty juice box from Paul and threw it towards the trash can, missing by an inch.

“Are you done taking care of me now?”

Paul turned his head and looked jokingly at Daryl and Daryl held him a little tighter.

“Never.”

Daryl moved a hand from under the blanket and buried it in the thick brown locks on the back of Paul’s head. “You know we need to talk about this.”

Paul relaxed into Daryl massaging his scalp and let his head drop to the side and rest on Daryl’s chest.

“I know, but I’m good.”

Daryl wasn’t doubting Paul. He would never lie, especially not about how he felt after a play. It was too dangerous if either of them did. Paul had taught him that. Paul had scolded him for holding back.

“Then tell me how you feel, and don’t say _good_.”

The small chuckle from Paul had Daryl relaxing a bit more.

“I’m not sure what you did.” Paul lifted his head. “Well, I know what you did and in the moment I hated everything about it. Understand me right. But…”

Daryl looked at Paul but he placed his head back on the chest.

“But what, Paul?”

“I’m not sure what happened but I’m just tired in another way, like I’m exhausted, but can’t really sit still.” He wrapped both arms around the one Daryl had over his chest. “Unless I’m with you.”

Daryl wasn’t sure this was all too much to lay on Paul this very moment, but he needed time to figure out if he was ready.

“So, if I told you that I want to make it up to you tomorrow?”

Paul looked up in surprise. “Are you trying to kill me?”

The smile on Paul’s face already gave the answer away, but Daryl wasn’t letting him decide anything tonight.

“No. I’d planned tonight and then early tomorrow, but you’re in charge; if you just want a blowjob to take the pressure off tomorrow, we’ll do that.”

Paul reached up for a kiss and Daryl dived in greedily. Winded and with hazy eyes Daryl let his head rest back on the pillow against the wall behind him and felt Paul’s head land heavily on his collarbone.

“I’m okay, Dee. If we can just stay here all night.”

Daryl rubbed Paul’s shoulder and tangled his fingers deeper in Paul’s hair. He could hear that Paul was joking. In about fifteen minutes he would get tired of the mess on his stomach and thighs and they would both shower. After they would go to sleep in the bed, and no matter how comfortable the pillows in the pamper room was, the bed was always better for a good night’s sleep.


	4. Blue is the new black

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daryl makes Paul feel good after the ruined orgasm the day before. Soft and sweet this time.

Daryl had told him not to masturbate. Not that he thought it would be pleasurable to touch himself that much anyway. Besides, Daryl was with him all the time. After the shower they had eaten and gone straight to bed. It was late and Daryl had said that he had plans early in the morning.

At first Paul had been too tired to tell Daryl that he was too tired to do anything in the morning; it would have had to wait. However, now he was glad that he didn’t had to wait too long. Daryl was fast asleep with his arm hug heavily over Paul’s chest. He’d nuzzled Paul’s hair until he fell asleep, but Paul was still awake. It was his own personal heaven to lie wrapped up against Daryl and his body was heavy, warm and tired, but still he couldn’t find peace in his mind to relax properly. He wasn’t done with his day, and no matter how often he told himself that Daryl would fix all of that in the morning, he still had this unsettling feeling that he needed to do something important.

The last time he looked at the time, it was 2 am. For no one knows which time, Paul turned in Daryl’s arms and felt him hug him tighter in his sleep. Eventually, he slept, but woke up with every move Daryl made.

* * *

“I don’t see why we even need breakfast. We ate late last night and it’s only 6 am.”

Daryl shared the last coffee in their cups. “I thought you would be eager to get started, but I’ve never known you to turn down breakfast. Or any meal really.”

“Well, I guess I’m just not that hungry.”

“Just eat up and I’ll go get ready while you clean up.”

To Paul’s relief, Daryl didn’t fill his plate a second time and as soon as he’d left the table, Paul started to clear the dishes away.

Daryl hadn’t specified when he should come down, so for a second Paul wondered if he should wait till he was called on. He looked at the watch and thought to himself that the eight minutes that had passed had to have been enough.

* * *

Daryl greeted him with a long and warm kiss at the bottom of the stairs. When their lips separated, Daryl held Paul’s head with both palms on the side of his neck and chin.

“Tell me the safewords.”

Paul had been impatient since yesterday evening, but he had to force his brain to catch up with the sudden change in Daryl’s pace.

“Paul. Explain.” Daryl’s eyes were joyfully sparkling, but the firm face told Paul that he was already in game-mode.

Paul nodded and smiled at the eagerness shared between them. “Green is; I’m good. Yellow means, slow down, wait. Red means, stop everything.”

Daryl let go and showed Paul the black blindfold in his hand. The last thing Paul saw was two blue eyes smiling at him; promising that everything would be not only safe, but wonderful.

“Safewords are in play. I will ask for your color, but you should always tell me if it changes.”

No matter how many times Paul would hear Daryl recite those words, they would always send shivers down his spine.

Paul nodded at the same second he was guided across the floor. With no words, he was placed with his back against something tall. He didn’t even recognize it as the cross until his right arm was lifted above his head and his wrist locked in the leather cuff. The air filled his lungs deeper and slower as his left hand was tied too. Paul tried to cherish the slow pace and the anticipation as Daryl moved one foot out at a time and tied them too. Spread out as a huge standing ‘X’, Paul felt Daryl let go of him and heard him moving around on the other side of the room.

Goosebumps spread from his toes to his scalp as he heard the familiar steps coming closer in a steady and determined pace. Daryl’s lips touched his and he greedily dived into the kiss and reached his head forward to regain contact when Daryl pulled away too quick.

A loud surprised gasp filled the room as something cold touched his ass. Daryl kissed his knee and embraced his leg with his free arm. The lube warmed up quickly and soon, only one finger circled his ring. The pressure increased and he felt the added sensations from the play two days ago. He clenched and his knee, not held by Daryl, pulled up the half inch it was able to.

Daryl kept the light massage going. “Are you still sore from the dildos?”

“No…” Paul shook his head desperately; he was in a hurry to get this going. It didn’t hurt, and he was sure it wouldn’t if Daryl stuck to the small toys this time. “Just sensitive.”

“Good. I’ll be good to you today.”

Paul inhaled sharply as the finger pushed inside. He didn’t feel any pain; it didn’t feel bad in any way. The only explanation he could give himself was that it felt _much_. Much more than normally and when Daryl slowly introduced the second finger he pulled the cuffs. Not to get away, it was just his whole body tensing up for a second. He wanted so bad to hold on to the rope that tied the cuffs to the cross, but they were short and there was no way his arms would turn that way.

Daryl took his time making Paul mentally beg for more. Even when he graced over Paul’s prostate and sent heatwaves through his stomach and back, Daryl still didn’t rush it. It was a relief to Paul that Daryl made everything feel good and not just jump into the pain and exhaustion today. However, no matter how relaxed his legs got and how heavy he was hanging on the cuffs with his head tilting back, there was still a desperate voice in his head that Daryl would move things along. He was still fidgety after yesterday. His head was still missing something.

The third finger made Paul moan out loud from only pleasure. He was more than ready and behind the blindfold, he had nothing else but feeling to concentrate on. His wrists were slowly getting uncomfortable and eventually they would hurt, his shoulders would be next, but right now the strongest feeling was Daryl’s fingers twisting and turning inside him.

The fingers disappeared and Paul reacted with a disapproving whimper, but he didn’t have time to take in air for a sigh before more cold was smeared between his cheeks. Something hard pressed against his most sensitive spot and instinctively he tensed.

“C’mon Rovia, let it in.”

Reminding himself that Daryl had told him that he would be good to him, Paul filled his lungs with air. As he let it out slowly he relaxed his legs and ass and in the same second Daryl pushed the thing up. It got wider quickly and Paul moaned loudly when the widest place went by his muscle. He closed tight around the plug’s stem.

Daryl shook it a little and had Paul jump as it pressed perfectly in on his prostate. Both of Daryl’s hands graced up his thighs and over his hips. Kisses traveled from his knee and when Daryl’s lips passed close by his cock, Paul realized that it was already fully erect. The hands and the lips moved up his stomach and chest. Two fingers circled his nipples and he heaved in air, pressing out for more friction. Daryl’s mouth quickly got his attention, continuing the small pecks up Paul’s collarbone and neck. Paul turned his head down meeting Daryl in a warm sloppy kiss. Both of Daryl’s hands landed on Paul’s jaw and held his head in the kiss, not that Paul would ever want to leave it. The heat from Daryl’s breath streaming down Paul’s lungs had him melting from the inside out. Being tied up in total darkness, helpless, not being able to see or touch Daryl, made Daryl’s affection so much hotter. Paul would have been happy to stay like that till he was ready to come, which would happen eventually.

One hand left his face first and then the other moved down and landed on the middle of his chest. When Daryl’s mouth left Paul’s he was prepared but not ready. He sighed and breathed in fast, surprised by how winded he was.

He could feel his heartbeat against Daryl’s hand and when Daryl started a machine he hadn’t heard before he was sure it was his heartbeat he heard behind the sound.

There wasn’t much in the basement Paul hadn’t tried, he’d done a few plays before Daryl, but nothing like what they were doing. Nothing that strong and nothing with that level of trust. He’d bought all of the tings himself, and knew what everything was, but he didn’t recognize that sound. As Daryl’s hand slid down to his cock, Paul tried desperately to remember which machines he’d bought but hadn’t tried. He didn’t come to any conclusion and when his cock jolted under Daryl’s slow and gentle touch, he realized that it wasn’t important.

A few strokes after Paul’s head was tilting backwards and he was trying to grab the ropes again. Then something cold and hard touched the head of his cock. Before he could react it slid down and embraced his entire throbbing organ. Paul looked down but still only saw black. It vibrated a little, but clearly wasn’t turned on completely yet. A soft and wet kiss on his ribs had him gasping as Daryl wrapped his arms around his middle. The thing was heavy, but held up by a rope or belt tied around his waist. It wasn’t exactly comfortable having his blood-filled cock pushed down to point against the floor, but Daryl’s hands moving down the outer of his hips had him accept it and ready himself for what Daryl would do next.

The small shake of the plug had Paul shudder and moan shortly. A click sounded and the thing started vibrating. Paul’s legs gave in and with the constant stimulation it took help from Daryl’s hands on his ribs to get standing. He wasn’t steady, but he needed to support himself not to hang from his wrists and hurt both them and his shoulders.

Daryl turned away and a second after, something in the tube on him started moving. The milking machine. Paul groaned loudly and almost lost his legs again. The, now warmer, container on him squeezed lightly far in and slowly moved the pressure out his shaft. It moved back and out once more before Paul gave in to the feeling and the stimulation in his ass and gasped and moaned without trying to control it.

The hand, lightly placing itself on his neck, moved over the hairline on the back of his head and his head steady by a firm grip on the hair. With shaking legs, a racing heart and lungs gasping for air, Paul turned his head to where he thought he sensed Daryl’s breath. He was sure that if he tried hard enough, he could see those perfectly blue eyes on the other side of the black blindfold. He was rewarded with contact between their mouths. Gasping in Daryl’s breath, Paul sunk into the perfect fit. His tongue lightly touching Daryl’s and moving the inside of Daryl’s upper lip. Daryl passionately biting Paul’s bottom lip to the point where Paul could feel it through the waves of heat and tingles over the rest of his body. Daryl pulled away and Paul wanted to complain but the machine sped up and he could only make a vocalized inhale followed but whimpers.

“Color?”

How the hell did Daryl not see that he was green? Paul was sure he was radiating green. Daryl turned Paul’s head by the grip in his hair and kissed him too quickly on his mouth. If Daryl could see his eyes he would know how green he was.

“Color?”

“Gr…” Paul hauled in air and swallowed before trying again. “Green.”

Daryl’s head pressed against Paul’s temple and the lowered voice came through clear that close to Paul’s ear. “Good, Hot-Stuff. I told you I would make it up to you.”

The speed increased again and Paul threw his head back in surprise and overwhelmed but the energy rushing through him.

Daryl’s other hand rubbed Paul’s lower back as he pulled Paul in for another kiss. Daryl was right there. He wasn’t touching his cock, he wasn’t fucking him, but it was his doing and he was in the most important place; Right in front of Paul, holding him, kissing him. The almost violent stroking on his cock knocked Paul’s knees out under him and he dropped to hang from his arms. Daryl hugged him tighter, but didn’t pull him up. It would to no use anyway. Between the stroking, the constant, but so amazingly perfect, vibration on his prostate and the breathlessness from only breathing shortly between kisses, there was no chance that Paul could stay standing.

Shaking and desperately hoping Daryl wouldn’t step back, Paul rode out his orgasm screaming words not even he understood.

Daryl kissed his neck and hugged him tight through it and didn’t let go before Paul started whimpering from the machine still going. Quickly, Daryl stopped the noise and with that the movement stopped too. Paul hung limp on the cross and his head hung heavily on his chest, as Daryl moved down to his waist. With one hand still on his hip, Daryl reached down and turned the plug off. Everything was silent. Everything was calm and Daryl was still right there. Right there, holding on to him as he loosened the belt and slid the machine off him. Paul hummed from the rough touch over the head of his cock.

“I know, Paul. Hang in there.”

The plug had him shaking as soon as Daryl took hold on the base. Paul whimpered as Daryl pulled on it and when it finally moved out his head lifted with a huge gasp, but quickly dropped to his chest again. He could feel his head moving in the rhythm of his heaving chest, but soon a hand on his chin lifted his face and another untied the blindfold. In front of him was Daryl’s beautiful deep ocean-blue eyes.

“Play is over.”

Paul smiled and hummed in agreement. Daryl slowly led Paul’s head back to his chest and untied Paul’s feet. He kissed Paul’s forehead as he moved past it to reach for his wrist. With only one hand tied Paul dropped to the side, right into Daryl’s arms. Paul’s sore shoulder ached when Daryl’ moved free arm over his steady and strong shoulders. He supported Paul as he let the other arm fall and Paul moaned in discomfort. If the soreness in his shoulders was the price he had to pay to hang his arms around Daryl’s neck, he was okay with that.

“Can you walk?”

Paul held tighter on to the back of Daryl’s shirt and pressed his head into the crease of Daryl’s neck and nodded. He felt Daryl let out a chuckle, then he hugged him tighter. He leaned down and wrapped his arm behind Paul’s knees and lifted him up like he was a small kid ready for bed and not the strong and muscular man he was.

* * *

The pillows felt just as warm as they were soft. Daryl washed Paul slowly with a warm cloth, but the only thing he truly needed was his hand sturdy planted on his hip.

“Turn to your side.”

Carefully not to move too much, Paul shook his head only a little. He was so comfortable lying there, on his back, completely relaxed and nothing but a little tension in his neck and shoulders.

“C’mon, Poppet.” Daryl’s serene face looked down at him and a hand slowly caressed his cheek. “You will hate that lube later if we don’t wash it of now.”

Daryl wasn’t wrong. None of them ever wanted to clean right after a play, but if it was possible at all they should; they could relax better and longer after. Paul lifted his head to reach for a kiss but hissed from his sore neck. Daryl smiled and brushed the hair out of Paul’s forehead before leaning in to meet Paul while he was resting on the pillow.

“Ready?”

Paul nodded and held his breath was Daryl turned him on his side. It didn’t really hurt; it was just a deep soreness that was worse when he used his muscles. He let out the air in a long loud exhale when he could relax. He was good as soon as he was lying still.

Daryl rubbed his upper arm lightly. “I’ll massage that later. I have all day to take care of you.”

The prospect of being in Daryl’s mercy for the rest of the day sounded heavenly to Paul. Daryl was a master in reading when Paul needed him to be there for him and when he was ready for him to step back. Paul had struggled a bit with learning that about Daryl, and had sometimes taken it too far and babied him for a bit too long. Daryl wasn’t easy to read. Maybe that’s why he had no problem reading Paul.

The warm cloth washed his thighs and slowly moved its way up. Daryl was careful lifting Paul’s cheek a bit and even more cautious about moving the cloth over Paul’s sore muscle. Paul didn’t feel any discomfort, only the feeling of Daryl looking after him.

Daryl wrapped Paul in a thick blanket and laid down close behind him, wrapping an arm around his waist.

“Is it better to lie on your back?”

Paul shook his head slowly and moved his hand, under the blanket, to lie under Daryl’s. With the blanket between their hands, Daryl still managed to hold on properly to Paul’s hand. He moved behind Paul and must have pushed himself up on the elbow, for Daryl’s lips touched down light and shortly under Paul’s earlobe and then a hand buried itself in his hair. Paul relaxed under the touch of Daryl’s fingers lightly playing in his hair and closed his eyes as he sunk deeply into the warmth in Daryl’s embrace. The only thing he was sure of, the only thing that has any importance when he slipped into sleep, was that Daryl was right there, no matter if he was blindfolded or sleeping.


	5. Sensory deprivation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paul and Daryl are getting worn out, but still decides that Paul can give Daryl two days, like Paul had just gotten two. When pain becomes normal, the hunt for new boundaries has to change, to not make it dangerous.

Daryl massaged the soft bubbles deep into Paul’s hair. Paul sighed and arched his neck back to lean his head on Daryl’s collarbone. “Maybe we should skip tomorrow?”

“Are you still sore?” Paul had already assured him multiple times that his shoulder were good. He’d massaged him more than once, and made sure he was warm all day.

Paul took Daryl’s hand and laced their fingers, reaching under the running water, washing the soap away. “I told you I’m good. I’m perfect.”

Paul turned around and hugged Daryl’s waist pressing them even closer. “This day was amazing, both the morning, but especially after. It still is.”

Daryl had always thought the best thing about the plays had been the trust they shoved each other. However, with Paul being so comfortable and teaching him to be too, the relaxed and loving caring after, had come to be a close second.

“Then why?”

“Dee, we’re both worn out. I don’t want to push you too far.”

Daryl lifted Paul’s face with both hands and looked him deep into the eyes. “You won’t. We have safewords, remember?”

“I know, but it’s only half of it. I still needs to be able to read you, to know when to ask and when to check if you’re clear enough to make the right choice.”

As their plays had gotten more intense they had both learned how to make sure that the other didn’t just say Green from desperation, but from an assessment that he was still okay and safe. The only fear connected to it was if they would hurt the other. Crossing a hard limit and loosing the trust, would be unbearable, but someone could be physically hurt too, if they weren’t completely clear.

Daryl brushed caught a cluster of bobbles sliding over Paul’s forehead. His hand continued into the hair and he held his head lightly on the upper part of his neck.

“You know me, even when we’re both tired. I’m good to go, but you’re the mastermind tomorrow, so if you’re not comfortable; we’ll wait.”

Paul smiled and nodded before placing a short kiss on Daryl’s lips.

“Let’s sleep first and decide tomorrow.”

Paul nodded and Daryl pushed him backwards into the stream of warm water. Paul’s head leaned into every movement Daryl’s hand did over his head, rinsing out the soap. Daryl stepped close, hugged Paul to his chest and felt the water run over his body too. Warming both of them. He could stand there for hours, but Paul was right; even though the play was done early and they had done basically nothing but hanging on to each other the rest of the day, they were tired and needed to sleep.

* * *

It hadn’t taken much talking to agree that they were ready for another round. Paul was planning the next two days, just as Daryl had had the last two. Just like two days ago, they had waited till after dinner since Paul didn’t want to wait too long between the two days either. Daryl was ecstatic, shaking with anticipation, he’d only had a two day play once before. That time Paul had kept to the essentials, the things Daryl already knew, but Paul had promised him something new today.

It was definitely new. Daryl was face down on the bench, his knees on the padded squares under it and his arms on two smaller ones. They almost only used it for spanking. Daryl found it easier to be still on it without being tied.

Paul had instructed him to put his head into the hole in the padding. From his voice Daryl could hear that it was because he didn’t want him to see, which often meant something new. He could hear Paul walking around and moving stuff, but he saw only his forearms and hands on the rests and his knees on the lower ones.

“Dee…” Paul was behind him. “Explain the safewords.” Every hesitation from yesterday was erased from Paul’s voice.

“Green is; I’m good. Yellow is; slow down, wait. Red means, stop everything.”

“Good. Safewords are in play. I will ask for your color, but you should always tell me if it changes.”

It didn’t take Paul a second to smear cold lube on Daryl’s unexpecting ass. Daryl jumped with a loud gasp. His ass was touched with something hard. Paul didn’t waist time on moving in on him so he could get a sense for what it was. The tip of it pressed slowly and broke through. Daryl clenched to slow down further. He needed to be prepped. Without it, it would hurt like hell, and he needed to warm up to that kind of pain. Paul knew that.

The thing didn’t stop, but soon Daryl realized that it wasn’t that much bigger that two fingers. He tried to relax.

“You’re tightening a lot. Are you still sore?”

He really thought that he was all over the ginger from two days ago, but he was sore. He breathed deeply and willed himself to let the dildo in.

“It’s nothing serious. I’m good.”

“Okay. Let’s continue.”

Paul’s voice was weirdly far away. Maybe six feet behind him. Paul moved the dildo; it didn’t make sense. He knew they had machines, they’d never used, but he didn’t hear anything, and the rhythm was uneven.

The pace went up and Daryl concentrated on breathing and holding himself steady. It burned on his insides. Not too much but the ginger had definitely made him sensitive or maybe a bit swollen. The pace increased again Daryl saw his fingers wrap about the edge of the surfaces. He wasn’t used to this pace, neither the hurried start of the play or the rushed but thankfully not deep thrusts. Not even half hard yet, Daryl was already struggling for air. His lungs wasn’t closing up like sometimes; he simply didn’t have time to get a full breath down before he had to let out another moan from the relentless feeling of electricity warming his back and torso in waves.

The toy left and if sounded like Paul dropped a broomstick on the hard floor. Daryl closed his eyes; enjoying the free moment to fill his lungs.

Something was moved behind him and he looked down between his knees, but the thing wasn’t close enough. He saw nothing but dark gray tiles. A new tip pressed against his muscle and Paul didn’t waist any time before pushing. Daryl’s eyes sprung open wide as the much bigger dildo broke through his rim. He reminded himself that it wasn’t hurting, it was just extremely tight. Still his whole body was tense and he held on tight to the padding again. The clear memory of the pace from before was stuck in his head and spread shivers over his body.

Half way in, the dildo stopped and kinda shifted, as it was being adjusted. The room felt with a buzzing sound. It was definitely something electrical getting turned on. Daryl hadn’t dared try the machines on Paul. He didn’t feel like he knew enough about them, but Paul was the experienced one and had clearly decided that today was the day.

The buzzing changed pitch and the dildo moved deeper. Daryl arched his back and lifted his head from the rest.

“Lie still.”

Paul was still too far away but now on the other side, making it clear that he wasn’t touching anything. It was weird not having Paul right there.

The dildo pulled out, but only half way and then slowly moved back in. Daryl gasped but praised Paul’s choices that it didn’t moved faster yet. Daryl turned his face towards the part of the room where Paul had talked before and the freed space let the next thrust push Daryl up the bench.

“Put your head down and keep still.” Paul had move to the other corner, and sounded even further away. “I don’t want to put the extension on.”

Daryl froze and put his head down. With the next pull out, he forced himself to follow the machine down to lie on the bench like before. They had used the extension before when Daryl jumped too much under the paddle. Paul had attached it and made the bench longer towards Daryl’s hips, bending his legs more so he couldn’t push himself up the bench. It was often a help, but today; he would be trapped. With that he wouldn’t be able to move off the machine if he needed to get away. He could never be tied up. He always needed to have the opportunity to escape, not that he’d never needed it or tried to. He was knew Paul would stop and backtrack if he would say yellow, but if he could just avoid it all together, why not try to?

The slow pace was getting to his head. With loud moans and deep breaths he moved towards the machine and up. Not too much, to not bring Paul into action, but enough to get a bit faster friction before he was going to lose his mind.

Paul must have noticed and granted him what he needed, and a little extra. The first fast push had him screaming and not pausing before moans took over again. He grabbed on not to the armrests to not let the thrusts push him up too far. The waves of heat and tingles throughout his body had him gasping for air and his dick, that only a minute ago was fighting not to hang loose between his legs, was now completely hard.

It hurt. Not a lot, but enough to keep him fighting not to move away. His lungs were definitely on their way to closing up from pure sensory overload and Daryl would soon have to concentrate to breathe. Slowly his eyesight got blurry at the edges. He’d done this before. Not like this exactly, but the feelings was the same. Except it wasn’t. It was almost too much. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it was much too deal with at once.

Confused, he was clinging on to the bench feeling the dildo pushing him violently up and down. When his hands vanished in the gray blur, he moved one up to hold onto the headrest.

“Color?”

Paul was far away. He felt his heard sink and almost lost his grip, resulting in a thrust pushing him hard up. He pushed himself down without thinking and screamed out from the added speed the next went in with. That was it! That was why everything felt like so much more than it was. Paul wasn’t next to him.

“Dee. Color?”

Daryl swallowed a moan and nodded, just to let Paul know he was there. He needed to calm down, he needed to get his lungs in order. Paul was in the room. Paul was looking at him; watching his every movement. It was okay. He didn’t need to be right there.

“Hang on, Dee. I’ve got you.”

Paul’s voice was already closer.

“No! Green.”

Daryl gasped to regain some of the air used for the loud words. He moved his other hand to the headrest too, making sure the lack of air wouldn’t let him move.

“Dee…?”

“I’m… It’s good.” Daryl let himself give in for a growl when the pounding began to spread heat to his thighs and send shakes out his cock. “Green, Rovia.”

“Aright. But you tell me the second you change.”

Judging from Paul’s voice, he was already moving slowly back as he spoke. Daryl nodded and concentrated on getting in air enough to feel everything going on. Within seconds, his strained lungs, sore ass, shaking legs and crampingly curled toes, joined up in _one_ vibrating heat covering him. He groaned loudly and pressed his head hard into the headrest.

He didn’t notice the mess on the floor under him until the machine had stopped and he had filled his lungs with air enough times that he could do it with no sound.

“Take a minute. Only get up when you’re ready to stand.”

Paul’s voice was soft and caring but not much closer. He wasn’t within reach. They never did this. Daryl’s breathing sped up and every cell in his body worked towards stopping the subtle shaking in his legs. Slowly, he pushed his chest up, only sitting on his knees. He placed one leg on the floor and paused as his head adjusted to the altitude.

“Careful.”

Daryl hummed and when he was back in control he nodded an got up on his feet. He gave himself a few extra seconds before letting go of the bench and stood freely. Paul was maybe ten feet away; his smile was kind and he was carefully watching Daryl get his balance.

“Good. Now keep standing.”

He brought over a bowl and cloth and sat it by Daryl’s feet. Daryl wanted to fall heavily into Paul’s arms and hug him, but he hadn’t ended the play yet so this had to be a part of it. Daryl closed his eyes as Daryl hastily washed him clean of sweat and the small amount of cum that had ended on his thighs. Daryl gasped and almost lost his footing as Paul, without warning, slid the damp fabric over his sensitive cock.

* * *

Daryl washed Paul as he silently put the bowl away and rolled over the wheelchair. Daryl hated that thing. It was hard and cold, and it meant that he wouldn’t be in Paul’s arms just that second, which was all he ever wanted after. It was practical, he had to admit that; it wasn’t always easy to walk after a play and even though they could carry each other, it’s not easy if one is not completely aware, not completely safe either.

“Sit.”

Confused, Daryl looked at the chair and then at Paul’s calm but mischievous smile. They were most definitely not done. Still Daryl hesitated. He could walk, and he didn’t really want to sit down right now.

“C’mon, Tiger. We’re leaving, sit up.”

Not getting what Paul was talking about, Daryl shook his head and leaned against the handle to get situated. Paul pulled his hand away a little too quickly for Daryl not to notice.

Once lined up with the seat, feeling safe he would succeed, Daryl slowly sat down with a muffled hiss. His ass was sore, but it wasn’t painful as long as he didn’t have to move too much. Before Paul pushed the chair into the elevator he handed him a bottle juice and a bar of chocolate.

“You’ll need it. We’re going again tomorrow too, remember?

Daryl had no idea what Paul had planned; he couldn’t think of another place that they could play.

The door opened on the other side and they moved into the bedroom. Paul rolled the chair all the way up to Daryl’s side of the bed and locked the wheels.

“Go on, Dee. Climb in.”

Daryl shook his head, wondering if Paul had forgot to end the play. Was he really that worn out from this week? It was still weird though. It was even more weird when Daryl as a reflex reached back to accept Paul’s support to get standing, and he wasn’t there. Daryl turned and saw his boyfriend by the foot end of the bed, smiling encouragingly. Daryl frowned and climbed in himself. He pulled the cover over him but let his one side bare for Paul to get in with him.

Paul rolled the chair away, walked to the side of the bed and reached over Daryl to cover him completely.

“You’re going to rest before we go back to the basement early tomorrow morning.”

Daryl lifted his hand to take hold of Paul’s neck, hoping for the contact he was missing badly. Paul stood up before Daryl reached him and shook his head.

“Dee. We’re still in play. I am going to get some work done, but I’ll leave you this.”

Paul placed a baby-call on the bedside table and held up his own part. “Do you understand?”

Daryl understood perfectly. Paul was leaving him. He just wasn’t sure why. He nodded to let Paul know that he got the concept of the little light blue one-way radio.

Paul walked to the door and opened it. “Color?”

Daryl was confused as hell, wanting nothing more than to end this feeling of missing something important, but he was safe.

“I’m green.”

“Good. I will be working in the office and I won’t sleep. You should try to.”

Paul closed the door and that moment it had never seemed so far from the bed. Daryl was sure that their bedroom wasn’t normally this big. Even tired and worn out Daryl wasn’t close to think of sleep. He looked over the room and oddly felt all of his senses heightened. The cold air from the almost closed window had him wrapping himself tighter in the bed-cover, which felt more stiff than ever. He sat op and changed the thin cover in for the soft white duvet. Settling back down he smelled the fabric softener stronger and somehow he noticed the almost non-existing bussing from the water moving through the towel heater in the master bathroom.

They had played with cutting out senses before and Daryl was always amazed how intense the other got. It reminded him of that, but he had all of his senses. All of these smells, sounds and feelings was overloading him with all the unimportant things. It was supposed to feel good. To make the wind send shivers down his spine, making him gasp in excitement, but it was the wrong kind of shivers. It was supposed to make whatever Paul was doing so much more intense. But Paul wasn’t there.

It was ridiculous, he knew it. Paul was two doors down and he had the radio. Intuitively, Daryl rolled to the side and grabbed the thing. He held it with both hands, focusing on the little green light. He tried filling his lungs, remembering that he was in his own bed and there was nothing that could go wrong. Not even if the thing didn’t work. There was no reason to safeword. He understood Paul; his senses would be in overload tomorrow.

Daryl could have sworn that the second-hand on the wall-clock didn’t make a sound until now. It had only been a little over an hour.

Daryl closed his eyes and filled his lungs with air, but it came out too far and he looked at the little green light again. He was sure it went out for a second. He stared intensely at it, but found it hard to concentrate between the clock resonating in his head and him starting to shake from the wind he knew wasn’t really there.

What if he suddenly couldn’t see the thing in his hands. The door was already missing in a blur closing in on him. What if Paul couldn’t hear him? Daryl was slowly loosing feeling in his feet. Everything else was taking presence and he wasn’t sure he could walk to the office. What if he safeworded and Paul took too long to get in here and he would suffocate in panic. Daryl knew that thinking about panicking wasn’t a good idea, but he’d never panicked from a play. What if he would go insane in here?

He looked up and barely saw the clock before it too disappeared in the blur. Almost two and a half hour.

Daryl focused on the light again and tried hard not to let his shaking drown out the sounds of his breathing. He felt his lungs were working wrong, but he couldn’t feel if he was getting in any air.

He tried to form a word, but his lungs heaved in before he could. He held the radio close to his mouth as the gray shadow covered everything else.

“Re…” He gasped. It was too late.

A sound of something dropping to the floor near him, had Daryl jump and squeeze the blue plastic harder.

“Dee!” Paul’s voice froze everything else. “Dee, Hon. I’m right here.”

He wanted to believe it, but he’d hardly made a noise in the radio.

“Honey. Play is over…” Everything but Paul’s steady and clear voice vanished and Daryl felt something small press lightly down on the mattress in front of his hands. “Can I touch you?”

Daryl felt his lip quivering and his eyes burn. The same second he nodded, a hand moved quickly up his arm to his shoulder and another pressed itself between his temple and the pillow.

“It’s alright Dee. I’m right here. I’m staying.”

Daryl’s lungs eased up and he relaxed his hands around the radio.

“Paul?”

“It’s me. Dee, can you tell me what you need?”

The gray blur, showed a darker shadow right in front of him. With the hand rubbing his shoulder and the light thumb gracing his hairline, he was able to quickly see Paul sitting on his knees next to the bed. He smiled worried and came a little closer.

“Hon? What do you need?”

Tears ran from Daryl’s eyes and landed on Paul’s hand and wrist. He gasped and blinked trough the water to look at Paul.

“You.”

“Okay. You’ve got it.”

Paul took Daryl’s hand and sat back pulling off his shirt and changing hand taking it off completely. He quickly lifted the duvet and climbed up on what little space there was between Daryl and the edge of the bed.

“Here, Babe.” Paul lifted Daryl’s head and slid his arm under to let him rest it on his upper arm. Daryl leaned his face into Paul’s moving chest but stayed steady with his forehead on Paul’s collarbone.

The firm and calm circles drawn on his back held him tight to Paul and was in rhythm to his head moving lightly on Paul’s bicep. Paul’s free hand came up to cradle Daryl’s face. His thumb catching the one tear within reach. The blur was gone; there was only Paul’s light blue glazed-over eyes shining at him.

“Good?”

Paul whispered as if he was afraid to startle Daryl or maybe he was trying to hide the shake on his voice. Daryl hummed in agreement and closed his eyes as he nuzzled closer to Paul’s body.

“Tell me if you need something else.”

Daryl nodded against Paul’s chest. He was good now. He was coming down. From what, he wasn’t completely sure yet, but he was good. He was clear enough that he’d noticed the shake on Paul’s voice and the teary eyes. Slowly he let his lower arm rest on Paul’s ribs and his hand on the back of the tense shoulder. With the first grace of Daryl’s thumb on Paul’s shoulder blade, Paul’s breathing slowed down as well, and Daryl knew that he, for good, had told Paul that he was back and alright.


	6. More than aftercare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plays had been a lot on both of them and last night they missed the mark and they are both dealing with the consequences. I promise lots of emotions, angst and cuddles... so many cuddles.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the delay. I needed to step away from this for a time to figure out how to end it.

Paul hadn’t slept. All night he’d been vigilant to Daryl. Once every hour to hour and a half, Daryl would shift in his sleep and cling on tight to Paul’s arm or press himself closer to his chest. Paul hugged him tight every time and hushed him till he relaxed again. For every time Paul’s heart hurt a little more. He’d pushed Daryl too far. He’d crossed a line that neither of them had even thought about before. He had taken Daryl’s sight and hearing away in plays before. They had even played a little with minimum touch. It had all made everything else seem that much stronger. This time he’d not only deprived Daryl from touch but from any contact and he’d pulled him over the edge. He’d broken his trust, and even in his sleep he was desperate to know that he hadn’t left him again.

Daryl took a deeper breath and hummed, almost whimpered, as he turned towards Paul again.

“Shh, Dee.” Paul whispered and supported Daryl in his move to grab on to his shoulder and press his head to Paul’s chest. “I’m right here, Honey. I’ve got you.”

Paul hugged him tight and rested his chin on the top of Daryl’s head. Tears were building in his eyes. He barely made out the numbers on the clock on Daryl’s nightstand. 6.37 am. They’d been there for hours and Paul wanted this to end for Daryl, for him to wake up, but he wasn’t ready himself. He couldn’t bear to see the look in Daryl’s eyes if they would show how he had felt in his sleep.

The next two hours, Daryl slept without moving and with no sound. Paul kept his eyes on him, until he couldn’t see from the water building in them. How was he ever going to make this alright? He wasn’t sure he could. This might be the end of their plays, but that was not important. The thing that had Paul’s lungs twisted, was that he wasn’t sure Daryl could even look at him when he woke up. Actually he was pretty sure he wouldn’t.

He gasped at the thought and turned to lie on his back. Still holding Daryl’s hand, ready to react at the first sign of movement. The ceiling disappeared and he accepted that he’d lost the fight against the tears and let them roll down in his hairline over his ears.

The first twitch in Daryl’s hand pulled Paul back to the task at hand and he rolled to his side. Daryl breathed in deep through his nose and turned his head slowly to the side. His eyelids moved a little and Paul quickly wiped away his tears and pushed himself up on an elbow. Daryl’s eyes opened and it only took him a few seconds to focus on Paul.

“Dee?” Paul whispered; afraid his voice would crack.

Daryl made what looked like a small smile. “Rovia.” He cupped Paul’s cheek with a light hand. “You’re here.”

Paul blinked away a tear almost escaping. “I’m here. I’m not ever leaving you like that again.”

“I know.” Daryl smiled softly and graced his thumb over Paul’s cheek.

After trying to swallow the lump in his throat, Paul shook his head lightly and placed his hand on top of Daryl’s on his cheek. “Babe, I’m so sorry.”

Daryl shook his head and sat up, pulling Paul with him. “We took it too far. Both of us. I should have tapped out before; I knew it was too much as soon as you closed the door.”

Paul looked down at their joined hands in Daryl’s lap. He still shouldn’t have put Daryl in a situation where he was in doubt about safewording. He should have read the situation; he could always read Daryl. Just like now; Daryl was barely holding it together.

“What do you need?” Paul was talking controlled and low, to not let Daryl know that he was close to crying himself. He knew Daryl was, and he didn’t need him to worry about him right now. “Anything, Dee.”

The breath Daryl took was audible and he tightened his hands around Paul’s. “Just stay here.” Daryl couldn’t hide the tears on his voice and he seemed as he’d accepted that as he pushed Paul’s face up to look at him. A tear rolling over his face. “Can we just stay together today?”

“Of course. I would love that.” Paul wanted to hug Daryl, but he wasn’t sure if he would want him that close, so he settled for resting his hand on Daryl’s neck and rubbing his jawline with his thumb. “You should eat a bit, though. At least drink something.”

Daryl nodded and sighed as he stood up quickly and found a pair of boxers and sweat pants in the drawer. He was back in a second, lacing his fingers with Paul. They nodded silent in unison and left for the kitchen. Daryl stopped briefly outside the bedroom door when he saw the makeshift chair of pillows, Paul had sat on last night. He didn’t speak, but the grip on Paul’s hand tightened for a second. Daryl didn’t let go of Paul, until they were sitting in the bed again with lemonade and a plate of granola cookies.

As they ate in silence, Paul’s heart got heavier for every second. Darry’s hands were slightly shaky and he was clearly controlling his breathing carefully. There was no doubt that he was holding back. Paul closed his eyes and breathed deeply for a second. He’d really messed up, but he was the one who had to make it better. Even though he had no idea how.

“Dee?” Paul spoke hesitant.

Daryl didn’t look up from the cookie in his hand as he spoke quietly. “I’m okay. I…” He put the half-eaten cookie down and folded his hands in his lap. “I just need to relax a few hours.”

It tore into Paul that he had to do this; there was a change that he would end up crying himself, but they both knew that they needed to talk about this. And before Daryl’s sub-drop got too deep. Daryl had never experienced that before. He’d seen Paul close, but not anything that could be considered a drop, and this was a bad one.

“Babe…” Paul took Daryl’s hand, and was relieved that he let him. “You know we have to talk this through.”

Daryl shook his head disheartened. “Not now, Rovia.”

Paul moved the food and drinks to the nightstand. “Yes, now.” He moved closer and cradled Daryl’s face with both hands, lifting his face to get eye-contact, but Daryl kept his eyes down. “Dee, you’re in full drop. We’ve talked about this, remember?”

Paul had made sure that Daryl knew what to watch out for, but to actually feel it, was different. Paul had been there twice before he met Daryl, but not like this. His were manageable, and he could take care of it himself. Daryl shook his head and wiped away a tear that hadn’t left his eye yet.

“It’s alright. I pushed you too far, but it can happen after a normal play too.” Paul moved a bit closer and leaned in to get contact. “Hon, look at me.”

After a long and deep breath, Daryl slowly met Paul’s eyes.

“Babe. I love you, okay...? It’s alright.”

Daryl’s lip quivered and Paul, once again, fought the urge to hold him tight in his arms.

“Talk to me, okay?” Paul didn’t care that he was begging by now.

Tears rolled over Daryl’s cheeks as he nodded and took Paul’s wrists and gathered their hands between them. Paul’s lungs untightened a bit; Daryl would be so much better after taking about it. However, Paul wasn’t sure where this left the two of them.

Paul rubbed his thumb over the back of Daryl’s hand. “Do you want to do it here?” He knew that asking Daryl too many questions could make everything too much for him, but Paul wasn’t sure of anything right now.

“I…” Daryl looked at the head-pillows and then back on their hands. “I don’t know.”

“Okay. That’s alright. Just answer this, then…” Paul lifted Daryl’s hands and pressed them on Paul’s own chest. “Do you need to be closer?”

Daryl’s lip quivered again and after a few seconds he nodded slowly.

“Alright. C’mon.” Paul pulled the bed cover to the side and climbed up to sit against the headboard and guested for Daryl to sit against him. Daryl followed and Paul quickly covered them with he duvet. “Good?”

Daryl pulled the duvet all the way to his chin and held on to Paul’s arm wrapped around his bar chest. “Good.”

Daryl’s back was cold. He should have made him put on something, or had him under the covers as soon as they’d gotten the food. He wasn’t thinking clearly and he was failing Daryl in every way. Paul hugged him tighter and buried his free hand deep in Daryl hair.

“Babe…?”

Daryl only hummed a affirmative that he was listening.

“Babe, you need to tell me what happened last night. I know I crossed a line, but what went on in your head?”

The breath Daryl took was shaky, and Paul had a hard time waiting for him to answer, but he felt the tension in Daryl’s shoulders and knew that he was thinking.

“I was confused I guess.” Daryl swallowed and pushed himself closer against Paul’s side. “I’m not sure what happened. It was like when I couldn’t see, but more.”

“Like when we use a blindfold?”

Daryl nodded. “Everything always feels so much… more, when we do that. This was the same, except…” Daryl stopped and hugged Paul’s arm closer to his chest.

Paul nodded and continued his sentence. “Except it was too much.”

“Yeah.”

From earlier plays, Paul knew that depriving Daryl from as much touch as possible had been almost as strong as taking his sight, and he’d wanted to make that stronger by making him miss it longer.

“I’m sorry, Dee. I shouldn’t have drawn the play out for that long. I thought it would be more intense this morning, but it was way to long. I’m so sor…”

“No.” Daryl pushed a bit away and turned to look at him. Paul was grateful that he’d decided to still fight the tears back. “Paul. It wasn’t the time.”

Confused and surprised by the sudden reaction, Paul looked at Daryl’s eyes, waiting for him to continue. Daryl caressed Paul’s cheek and slid his hand down his neck, before he turned back around and settled against Paul again.

“It was just stronger. Everything got too much. The sensations, the sounds, the light. I knew that it was supposed to be pleasurable, but it was just… violent.”

Paul swallowed and held back another “I’m sorry.” Letting Daryl continue.

“I thought the strongest sense you could take from me was sight… but I think it’s you.” Daryl sunk lower in the bed and turned around to hug Paul’s waist and rest his head on his chest. “If I lose you in a play, all my other senses go into overdrive and I can’t enjoy it.”

Paul massaged Daryl’s scalp and held firmly onto his arm over Paul’s ribs. He looked up to not let tears fall. He’d taken himself away. He was the only thing keeping Daryl feel safe and he’d taken that from him. He should have known. Their plays were all about trust, and he’d broken that. There was nothing he could do to keep his tears from rolling down his cheeks. He breathed controlled, to not let Daryl know that he was crying, but was sure he was failing. Until he noticed, Daryl’s hold loosen and his head getting heavier.

* * *

Paul was on his side, turned away from Daryl. It had been hours since he fell asleep, and he’d slept deep enough the Paul could move him down to lie flat in the bed. Paul had been keeping a careful eye on him but he hadn’t moved, or dreamt, so when Paul again couldn’t fight his tears he turned around and let them fall.

“Rovia?”

The first thought running through his mind was how long Daryl could have been awake. Had he heard him sniffle just now? He wiped his eyes and swallowed, trying to make his voice clear. He wasn’t sure he could hide that he’d been crying for, he didn’t even know how long, so he didn’t speak.

“Paul?” Daryl’s heavy and warm hand held his upper arm and pulled him slowly to his back.

Sure that Daryl would know in a second he took a deep breath, preparing for the concern in Daryl’s already broken eyes. Daryl _was_ concerned, but even through the tears Paul could see that he was back.

“Poppet, what’s going on?”

Paul shook his head and bit his lip. Daryl shouldn’t have to comfort him for feeling bad about hurting him.

“Hey…” Daryl moved close and pulled Paul into his arms. “You can’t blame yourself for this.”

“I…” Paul hated how raw his voice was, it sounded like he’d been crying for hours, which wasn’t completely untrue. “I hurt you.”

“No, Rovia. You gave me every chance to say stop. You did everything right.” Daryl spoke calmly and if it wasn’t for the fact that he had to comfort Paul now, Paul might have relished in the fact that he was better.

“But I didn’t. I should have read you. I can’t read you when I’m not there.”

With two light fingertips, Daryl moved Paul’s face up to look at him. “I didn’t listen to myself. You’re always drilling into me that the sub is in charge. _I_ was the one who dropped the ball.”

Daryl shouldn't take the responsibility. It wasn’t right. “I can’t…” Paul pushed himself away and stood up. Was sitting and had a hold on Paul’s wrist before he could move away.

“Stop.” Daryl pulled Paul’s arm and reluctantly, Paul sat down on the bed. Daryl moved closer and tried to turn Paul towards him, but Paul couldn’t do that. He couldn’t put this on Daryl; he’d just gotten through a drop. Who knew if he was even completely out?

“Paul. You can’t just run. You need to be here.”

Paul shook his head and wiped his wet eyes.

Daryl didn’t let go of Paul’s hand as he climbed out of the bed and hunched down in front of Paul’s knees. “I know you, remember? I know you’re blaming yourself and you need to let it go.”

“I left you. Dee, I…” Paul’s voice cracked and Daryl took both of his hands in his just waiting for him to continue. “I… I left you feeling unsafe. I broke the trust that we build everything on.”

Daryl shook his head. “You have to listen to me now. Paul, are you listening?”

Paul nodded, ready to not believe what Daryl was going to say.

“Good. You did _not_ break our trust!” Daryl spoke strong, close to yelling. “Look at me!”

Not giving it another thought, Paul looked up and surprisingly kind eyes.

“We crossed a line. _We_ did!” Daryl cupped Paul’s cheek and took a breath slowing down. “Poppet. You’re not thinking clearly. I think you’re dropping too.”

Paul shook his head. He’d never dropped as a dom. He knew it could happen, but he’d never known anyone who had did it either. No matter what, he could handle his drop on his own. Just like the other times. He tried to pull his hands out from Daryl’s strong palm, but Daryl didn’t let him.

“Stop.” Daryl’s blue eyes were filled with worry, but a small smile decorating him lips. “I hated that I needed to be dependent on you. But as soon as you made me accept that I needed it, it felt good. Everything got better. You need to accept it too.”

The first sob surprised Paul but he couldn’t stop the next either. Daryl sat on his knees and pulled Paul in for a strong hug. Paul held on to Daryl’s shoulders and buried his face in the crease of his neck. Daryl didn’t let them sit there long after Paul stilled. He climbed into the bed and pulled Paul down to lie face to face with him.

“How much have you slept?”

Paul bit his lower lip and shook his head shortly.

“Poppet, you need to sleep.” Daryl caressed Paul’s jawline and Paul was able to retaliate the small smile, before he spoke again. “Are you okay to sleep, now? Are there anything else you need to tell me first?”

With a deep silent breath, Paul calmed himself more. He took Daryl’s hand kissed it lightly.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered as he looked Daryl in the eyes.

“You don’t have to, but I know you are.” He moved as close as possible and kissed Paul’s mouth slowly. “I am too.”

Paul nodded in acceptance and kissed Daryl quickly before he turned aground and pushed his back against Daryl’s chest.

Daryl wrapped his arm around Paul and held him tight. He spoke quietly close to his ear. “All the other plays this week was amazing. Remember that.”

With a smile building on his face Paul pulled Daryl’s arm closer around his chest. “This… This exact moment it too.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you have made it this far, make my day and leave me a comment.


End file.
